DISCLAIMER: I have no desire to enter into a debate/argument/heated discussion about this issue. If you disagree with the contents of this blog (which I'm sure you can anticipate already), please feel free to discontinue reading now...you won't hurt my feelings...
Let me start with a question:
How many of you would go skydiving?
Your answer (whether you like it or not) reveals a bit about your personality. You are either somewhat of a risk-taker or you prefer to play it safe.
Or your wife has told you that you can't go.
Neither one of these personality traits is inherently bad or wrong, but they are very different, aren't they?
Let's add something to this scenario, though...
What if you really wanted to go skydiving (you’ve already paid for it, you’ve cleared your schedule at work, you’ve asked your parents, wife, etc.), but you found out one or more of the following pieces of information:
o The pilot is drunk (not "tipsy" or "buzzed", but "hammered")
o The gas gauge is broken on the plane
o Your parachute has been packed improperly
o They’re replacing your parachute with a large umbrella (made of lace)
Would it matter WHEN you found out this information? Unless you had already jumped out of the plane, would it matter who you inconvenienced (pilot, crew, co-skydivers, your bank account, etc.) by canceling your skydiving appointment? Why? Because your LIFE is a bit more important than this experience, right?
There are those who are “brave” enough to go skydiving, but you’d have to be a very special combination of brave, stubborn, risky and just plain dumb to do it AFTER you found out any of this information, right?
Prom is upon us. I've seen the limos, dresses, tuxes, and stress-related zits, so I know it's here. It carries with it its own particular set of attractions and risks.
It isn't hard to figure out why young people WANT to go to Prom, is it? To summarize (in my opinion, obviously)...
1. Girls like getting dressed up.
2. Boys like girls.
3. That's it.
We would all love to pretend that Prom is no big deal. We would all love to sanitize it and say that it is just "good, clean fun". I'm all for good, clean fun....but I'm afraid that we would all be very wrong about that when it comes to Prom.
The fact of the matter is that Prom involves significant spiritual risks (which are not the only kinds of risks involved, but they're the only kind I'll focus on here).
Should the child of God have a different view, not only of Prom, but of everything? Take a look (on your own time) at Eph. 4:22-24; I Peter 1:13-19; Romans 12:1-2; Ephesians 5:1-17; I Thess. 5:21-22
Based on the above-mentioned verses (and the modern Prom experience), how would you describe the proper approach of the Christian to his/her life (which I believe would include Prom)?
Now, before you get up-in-arms at the uptight, out-of-touch minister, let's ask another question:
Are we PICKING on Prom?
I mean, come on. Let’s be honest, in the grand scheme of things, Prom is one night...it's one decision, right? I mean, could one night really make that much difference? Hmmmm. Why not ask:
- David & Bathsheba (1 night = adultery, unplanned pregnancy, deceit, murder, & a dead child)
- Samson (1 night = betrayal, end of a relationship, unwanted buzz cut, eyes gouged out, & a new job....in jail)
- Judas (1 night = wrong crowd, kissing [not in a good way], betrayal, regret, a rope, a tree & an eternity to think about it)
Ultimately (on some level), whether or not someone decides to go to Prom (and WHY) is no more important than 1,000 other decisions they make this year, but let's not try to take the sin out of Prom; it’s impossible.
- When girls dress in beautiful, tight-fitting clothing (which almost always reveals parts of their bodies that no one has seen yet)....
- When they fix their hair & make-up like a model or movie star....
- When they dance in close proximity to a teenage boy....
Believe me when I tell you (from personal experience)....Satan is there. Sin is "crouching at the door". If you don't think so, ask any honest male. He will tell you the truth.
Sometimes young people (even parents) say, "We only get to do this twice in our lifetime; it's special; it's a rite of passage; etc."
Let me respond, to those who would call themselves Christians: You only get two chances in your lifetime to make the right decision about Prom. Make sure that you try to do that.
If only there was a once-in-a-lifetime event that young people could look forward to where they could dress up really nice, get into a limo, go to a beautiful event focused only on them, eat good food, and spend time with a special someone....
Oh, that's right. There is. Their wedding.
If we were a little more concerned about not ruining THAT event, we might be more careful about events that have the potential to do just that.
I agree absolutely!! Thank you for the article!
ReplyDeleteAmen! That's it!
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ReplyDeleteI think the trouble lies in that even though many teens might not participate in the sinful acts that go along with prom they are associating themselves with those acts. In the passages listed above the epistles are telling the readers to leave the former life and live a life based on their commitment to God. By participating in prom they are giving a hint of sexual immorality.
DeleteThe pagans also had many rights of passage. However, the NT writers urge Christians to no longer practice their pagan ways. Being a Christian might mean that we have to miss out on things. I think it is dangerous for a parent to let there kid go to prom because they do not want them to miss out.
Great article! I have enjoyed, and shared, more than one so far. However, the many faces of Mr. T next to your very tiny white print makes this a difficult read for some of us. And not just me. Someone commented similarly when I shared a link on my Facebook page. Maybe you could make smaller Mr.T's and larger easier to read print so we can follow the right message without being blinded??
ReplyDeleteJeremy, we met at Polishing the Pulpit last year. I appreciate you and all the work that you do.
ReplyDeleteI didn't go to prom (17 years ago) and didn't care to. I was sheltered by my parents, but I was also trained to deal with temptation. I'm not less of an adult because I missed out on some "right of passage" (into what I'm not sure.) Looking back, I can't even tell you the names of most of my classmates that would have been there. I can tell you the names of friends who grew up "going to church" who were popular at school, and socially active. Whose parents thought it was a good idea to give them freedoms that I did not have. "Going to church" obviously wasn't enough, because the ones I'm thinking of got pregnant out of wedlock. Some married and have already divorced. Many never married (at least not the person they were with at the time.) Broken homes, hard lives for parent and child, financial struggles... the list goes on and on. And that list pales in comparison to the spiritual damage done when I look at those friends who are not faithful members of the church any longer. Folks, shelter your kids, it's your job as parents. While sheltering them, train them up on godliness. There is a balance. Sheltering them only won't work, and warning them only before tossing them to wolves they are not ready to deal with yet won't work. But in all, ask yourselves this question: What is more important for your children... their social experience, or their soul's salvation. Am I picking on prom specifically? no. There are plenty of opportunities for our children to be snatched up by "...a roaring lion seeking some to devour" 1 Pet. 5:8
There is something to be said for the person willing to "...not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Rom. 12:2 NASB
A "right of passage"? A nation "devoid of traditions of meaning"? Why should that play into the discussion? I attended high school in the decade of the 80's - a large public high school. I chose not to attend prom and did not go to the prom across town where the girl I was interested in went to school. I do not feel left out or that a piece of me is missing. High School graduation was my right of passage, so was college graduation, and come to think of it so was getting my driver's license. There are many "rights of passage" when I begin to think about it -- shaving, that first job and the resulting paycheck. In a church setting there are those times when a church leaders asks you to lead a prayer, teach a class, or take on an adult responsibility - those are "rights of passage". Why do we need to make something that at best is questionable a right of passage. My high school friends did not think of the prom as the right of passage, the the back seat of the limo or the blanket on the beach after the prom as a "right of passage." As for meaningful traditions, what about high school (college) graduation with all the "Pomp and Circumstance" that accompanies those events, are not this meaningful traditions?
ReplyDelete30 and 40 years ago - many small school proms included a banquet and a dance. Most small schools now follow the lead of their larger counter-parts and offer only the dance and the young people go out to eat at a restaurant. If your idea of prom is the old-school idea, you need to ask around. As for filling a the supposed void if our children do not attend prom, there are alternatives. Parents in our area who do not wish for their children to attend a prom provide an alternative each year. They supply limousines, chaperons, a nice meal at a very nice restaurant, and tickets to a special event. The young people go as a group made up of couples (pairs) - I did not have this 25+ years ago when I graduated, but am glad to see this available for my teenage son.
Thanks Jeremy for a good look at this issue.
Jeremy- I LOVE THIS!!! I have a son who is a junior in high school and more importantly, a Christian. He has had to watch his friends at school (though they are worldly) AND friends at church choose to go to the prom and other home school banquets that might as well be considered a prom- girls dress the same and there's dancing. Meanwhile, he hasn't had a girl friend or dated yet and stands strong on his convictions. This is a hard time of year and thank you so much for writing this!!
ReplyDeleteLeila
Thanks Jeremy! Another one knocked out of the park!
ReplyDeleteTouchy subject. Handled masterfully.
ReplyDeleteWhether or not one should attend prom is, I believe, a matter of opinion. Some may feel that it's wrong. Others may feel that it's okay. Those that believe it to be wrong shouldn't look down on those who choose to attend, and vice versa. We have to be careful not to put commands on others where God has made no commands. We should always recognize the liberties that we have in Christ, and respect the differing viewpoints that we will always have. We should be considerate of one another for the sake of unity and mutual edification.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that the reasons "to go" have little or no Biblical basis while the reasons not to have considerable Biblical basis. I went to 3 proms. I believe they were very typical representations of what most proms were and are. My conclusion.... there's nothing there that a Christian needs in order to live a pure Christian life.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe it's wrong to go to Prom. I KNOW firsthand it is.
I appreciate your honesty. I believe it's high time for me to own up to my past and agree with you. It's so strange that almost 10 years after attending a 'prom' I have regrets about it. Namely, because I grew up preaching to all my peers about how it is wrong to go and was raised that it wasn't what God wanted. I succombed to peer pressure and all the reasons 'to go' and ignored all the reasons I shouldn't, such as, my conscience. It was a forgettable evening. Nothing that stands out about it, except that it didn't belong in my life as a Christian. It didn't make me stronger as a Christian, and I definitely didn't stand up and testify to anyone or set up Bible studies or have a serious, Heaven-based conversation. While I made sure to dress in a modest dress and committed to not dancing, It went in that category of watching a bad movie. The cover may look good, but after the two hours of watching, you leave wondering why you ever watched.
DeleteIsn't God's love and mercy so wonderful? "He takes my burdens all away"! :)
DeleteI really enjoyed your blog on this topic. First let me say that even as a female the lack of clothing that I see other women/girls is just sick. It makes my heart sad to see these preteen girls dressing like they are street walkers instead of precious children! When I was in high school I went to prom....3 years in fact. I never went with someone I was "dating"......my group of friends always went as a group....my "date" was always just one of my friends. Two years he (two different guys) was even a member of the church. We would all meet at a friend's house with our parents, take pictures, go eat, and then go to prom. I was not asked to drink, smoke, have sex or ANYTHING of that nature. And I didn't know of anyone that did that.....I'm not saying it didn't happen....it just didn't happen with anyone I was friends with. I'm sure things happen at prom that shouldn't happen.....just like I'm sure things happen after high school football games, at Alabama football games, concerts and many other activities that Christians participate in. As Christians we need to ALWAYS be careful of what we participate in.....the arguments that are often times used against prom can also be used for other areas (football games, concerts etc.) and if we are going to use it for prom we need to use it for these areas as well.
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ReplyDeleteThis needs to said....and you said it well! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIn one word? Excellent!
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