Swamp People?

I bought the first season of "Swamp People" on DVD a few weeks ago because it was on sale for $5 at Target and because I was bored. 


I finished watching the last episode last night while Brooke was asleep. 


What if I told you that, after watching that show, I think I could hunt alligators now?


It seems like all you really have to have is:


1. A boat
2. A cooler full of rotten meat
3. A line with a hook at the end of it
4. A gun (preferably loaded)
5. A cigarette hanging from your mouth (which may be optional...I hope so)
6. The ability to nickname alligators ("Godzilla", "Big Head", etc.)


OPTIONAL REQUIREMENTS SEEM TO BE:


- A strained relationship with your son/stepson
- A wife that you should probably be terrified of
- A propensity to fry pretty much everything you eat
- A pair of white rubber boots (really...white?)
- At least three missing teeth (in the front, preferably)
- One shirt. 


I think I can do that.


I know some people with boats that I could borrow.


I have a cooler (and I think there's still some rotten meat in my fridge).


I can buy a line and a hook.


I have a gun.


I don't smoke, but I can make sunflower seed-chewing look pretty gross.


I can nickname alligators. Check these out..."Pee Wee", "Mrs. Butterworth", "Al Pacino", "Seth", etc. (I told you I could do it).


That's all there is to it, right? Wrong. The biggest part of alligator hunting (as far as I can tell) is being brave enough to do it (or being completely stupid enough to do it...either way, I'm not). 


You wouldn't catch me in one of those boats unless you knocked me out with the boat oar and dragged me in while I was unconscious. 


I wouldn't go near an alligator on purpose unless my wife or child was in danger (and even then, I'd try to negotiate from a distance first).


"Please don't hurt my wife or child, alligator."


"Hisssssss"


"Can we at least talk about it?"


"Hisssssss"


"I really think you're being unreasonable."


"Hisssssss"


"All right, that's it. I'm calling my lawyer. Don't move."


No, I really enjoy watching other people hunt alligators on my television screen, safely tucked under my covers while I bite my nails. But that's about it. 


Alligator hunting, as I understand it, is not a spectator sport. You are either out in the boat, setting lines & dragging in alligators...or you're not. WATCHING it doesn't mean much of anything and it certainly doesn't prepare you to get out there and do it yourself. I don't think you'd get much respect from the actual alligator hunters just from watching their show either.


Christianity is similar. Although there are lots of people "on the sidelines" who seem to enjoy watching other people following Jesus, they aren't actually doing it themselves. They are observers. They are spectators. They are the audience. Christianity/religion is just a "show" that is for them to watch when they feel like it. They enjoy it, and they might even consider themselves to be a part of it. But they aren't.


Why? Because I said so? No, because Jesus said so. You see, no one can take up my cross and follow Jesus FOR me. No one can worship my God FOR me. No one can go through my life, making the difficult decisions and growing in my faith FOR me. No one can raise my kids to love the Lord FOR me. In short, no one can obey God FOR me.


It is not something you can watch and automatically be part of. 


It is something you must live.


Many treat Christianity/the Church/Jesus like an episode of "Swamp People". We know enough about it that we can talk fairly intelligently about it (for example, I know that the "kill spot" on an alligator is a quarter-sized spot on the back of the head...they have told me that approximately 53 times on that show), but we simply aren't doing it. 


On judgment day, there will be some who will be lost...not because they don't know a lot ABOUT God/Jesus/the Church/etc., but because they never did anything WITH that information. 


So - metaphorically - get up early, put on your white rubber boots, kiss your terrifying wife goodbye, and go hunt some alligators!


Feel free to leave the cigarettes behind. Those things'll kill you.