I turn 38 today.
I know what you're thinking...
a. "He's too young looking to be 38!"
b. "I thought he was 50!"
c. "Who cares?"
Either way, it is another birthday for me and I'm grateful for another year that God has given me to live.
Here are some random facts about my birthday, which you may or may not enjoy:
- My parents came down to visit and they took us out to eat last night at Red Lobster, which was very nice. It is always very nice at Red Lobster, but it is even nicer when you don't have to pay. Those cheese biscuits...oh my.
- My Mom made cupcakes, which we ate at the restaurant. Ava (our 17 month old daughter) enjoyed hers very much. She began by trying to stuff the entire thing into her mouth (which I believe is required, according to the toddler code book), and concluded by removing every single bit of icing with her finger, slowly and deliberately. It was a sight.
- After dinner, we went to Barnes & Noble for a while. My Dad bought a book about knives. Don't worry, he's not a psycho...he just likes knives. And books about knives. And movies with knives in them. Ok, maybe he is a psycho. But he's my Dad and I love him and he probably won't stab me since I'm his son and it's my birthday.
- My parents gave me $25 for my birthday, which I promptly spent on a Batman comic at the bookstore (some things never change).
- My wife gave me three Star Wars T-shirts, only one of which I already had. I am particularly excited about the one I'm wearing today that says, "VADER IS COMING...look busy." She also has some other gifts for me today that she has been trying to give me for a month. She is very excited about these gifts, but I have insisted that she wait for my actual birthday before she gives me all of them. Sue me, I'm sentimental.
- We go to the Dr. today to schedule Greta's induction for next week. Lord willing, we will be a family of four in only a few more days:) Please pray for us as we anxiously await our new arrival.
All in all, it has been a great birthday so far, and I appreciate all of the attention (and money) that I have been given. If you have not already given me attention (or money) and would like to, I will be accepting these things up until midnight....September 14th (I like to give people plenty of time to do the belated birthday thing; I figure it's the kind thing to do).
If, after September 14th, you have still not been able to acknowledge my birthday, please speak with me privately and we can arrange an extension.
One might ask, "Why do we celebrate birthdays? What a silly notion!" I have asked that question myself (never on my birthday, though...always on someone else's. When it's my birthday, I think it's a fine thing to do and shouldn't be questioned by anyone).
Here are some reasons:
1. It is a celebration of existence.
2. It is a salute to staying alive.
3. It is a nod to remaining you.
4. It is an acknowledgement of the importance of your place in the world.
5. It is a chance to eat cake.
6. It is none of your business. Just shut up and eat the cake and stop trying to ruin it for everyone else.
Our birthdays are times of reflection. They are times when we are encouraged by those who love us. They are times for us to look back on fond memories and to look forward with optimism.
Most importantly, our birthday is a chance for us to thank God that He made us, and to ask ourselves if we are living up to His plan for our lives.
God had a plan for me before I was ever born (as He does for each of us), and the older I get, the more I am able to actively participate in that plan. To be an active, functioning child of God is truly something to be happy about:)
Yes, this post is shorter than usual, but give me a break. It's my birthday.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Best blog ever*
I am going to give $1,000 to everyone who reads this blog today.*
Seriously, I really am.**
Brooke and I took Ava to Sonic for dinner last night (and when I say "dinner", I actually mean "diarrhea") and we noticed something interesting on the menu...
It said, in large letters: "Now serving hand-mixed* shakes."
Did you notice the asterisk beside "hand-mixed"?
I sure did.
It took me a moment to find the line that explained the asterisk, but I finally found it (printed in 2 pt. type at the bottom of the page). I will paraphrase what it said because I had forgotten my telescope and therefore, couldn't read it...
"Not all locations offer hand-mixed shakes."
Well, zippity-doo-da***.
Isn't that convenient for Sonic. Hey Sonic...what about THIS location? How about the one we are currently SITTING at? Do YOU offer hand-mixed shakes, because that's really the only location I'm interested in. I'm not really all that interested in what OTHER people are able to have for dinner.
Which of Sonic's locations offer hand-mixed shakes anyway?
The ones with hands?
What kind of high-dollar, high-tech equipment does Sonic have to ration out to its many locations in order to hand-mix a milkshake anyway?
What does this even mean? Are they sticking their hands in my milkshake now and mixing it around? I'm not sure I want that. And if their hands are too short to reach the bottom of that gigantic Route 44 cup, are they going to use their feet? I need to know this information before I place my order.
I mean, am I supposed to turn to Brooke and say, "Look honey! If we were in a different location, we could have a hand-mixed shake! Let's keep driving until we get lucky!"
By the way, I'm pretty sure they don't have hand-mixed shakes in Northport. Do you want to know why? Because when Brooke got to the middle of her Sonic blast (which I realize isn't a milkshake, but it's awfully close), the toppings suddenly stopped. There were Oreos and then suddenly....there weren't Oreos anymore.
No one who was mixing that by hand would allow that to happen. A machine did that. A mindless, mean-spirited, joyless machine.
What kind of a society are we living in where we can make these outlandish promises to people and then undo them with a simple asterisk?
What if we all started doing this? What kind of chaotic madness would ensue? What if we did this in our marriages and we had to explain our asterisks?
"Honey, I love you*"
"What was that?"
"I said I love you*"
"Yeah, I heard you, but what's with the asterisk?"
"Oh, you heard that?"
"Yeah. I did. What does that mean?"
"Um, it means that I love you...unless you don't get the laundry done today, in which case I plan on being mad at you until bedtime and saying mean things about your mother during dinner."
"You're a jerk*"
"Ok, what did that asterisk mean??"
"It means that the word 'jerk' was substituted for what I really wanted to call you."
"Oh. Never mind then. I'm sorry*. I really do love you.**"
"I heard those too! What did those mean?!"
"Man, I thought those were quieter...Ok, the first one meant, 'No, I'm not', and the second one meant, 'I hope this is still true'."
"Get out."
The asterisk could conceivably single-handedly dismantle the institution of marriage in approximately 12 minutes****.
What if Christians did this while we were singing?
"Create in me a clean heart*, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me**..."
*Except, not really. I kinda like my heart dirty, thanks. I'm just singing along so I don't stand out. You understand.
**Same thing with this one too. Leave my spirit alone please.
"I have decided to follow Jesus*, no turning back**, no turning back***"
*Except when He leads me somewhere that I don't really want to go, in which case, I'll catch up with Him later on.
**I might turn back.
***Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll turn back.
What do we really mean when we say the things we say to God and to others? What if our mental "asterisks" were actually audible and people knew that we weren't being completely honest?
The Bible says that God already knows our hearts. Just because other people don't know our hearts doesn't mean that we should go around being dishonest with them. We will be held accountable for that.
Let me challenge you to give more thought to the things that you say before you say them. I know that I need to do that. God is listening, and He expects us to be truthful and honest with one another.
Small problems can arise when we are honest with each other, but much larger problems can arise when we aren't.
By the way, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging much lately.*****
* No I'm not.
** No. Seriously. I'm not. I don't have it to give, even if I wanted to. Stop trying to get rich off of me.
***Unsure of spelling.
****Not mine, of course, but other people's.
****No I'm not. I told you from the beginning that I wouldn't do a very good job with it. It's kind of your fault for thinking that I could. So check yourself before you wriggity-wreck yourself.
Seriously, I really am.**
Brooke and I took Ava to Sonic for dinner last night (and when I say "dinner", I actually mean "diarrhea") and we noticed something interesting on the menu...
It said, in large letters: "Now serving hand-mixed* shakes."
Did you notice the asterisk beside "hand-mixed"?
I sure did.
It took me a moment to find the line that explained the asterisk, but I finally found it (printed in 2 pt. type at the bottom of the page). I will paraphrase what it said because I had forgotten my telescope and therefore, couldn't read it...
"Not all locations offer hand-mixed shakes."
Well, zippity-doo-da***.
Isn't that convenient for Sonic. Hey Sonic...what about THIS location? How about the one we are currently SITTING at? Do YOU offer hand-mixed shakes, because that's really the only location I'm interested in. I'm not really all that interested in what OTHER people are able to have for dinner.
Which of Sonic's locations offer hand-mixed shakes anyway?
The ones with hands?
What kind of high-dollar, high-tech equipment does Sonic have to ration out to its many locations in order to hand-mix a milkshake anyway?
What does this even mean? Are they sticking their hands in my milkshake now and mixing it around? I'm not sure I want that. And if their hands are too short to reach the bottom of that gigantic Route 44 cup, are they going to use their feet? I need to know this information before I place my order.
I mean, am I supposed to turn to Brooke and say, "Look honey! If we were in a different location, we could have a hand-mixed shake! Let's keep driving until we get lucky!"
By the way, I'm pretty sure they don't have hand-mixed shakes in Northport. Do you want to know why? Because when Brooke got to the middle of her Sonic blast (which I realize isn't a milkshake, but it's awfully close), the toppings suddenly stopped. There were Oreos and then suddenly....there weren't Oreos anymore.
No one who was mixing that by hand would allow that to happen. A machine did that. A mindless, mean-spirited, joyless machine.
What kind of a society are we living in where we can make these outlandish promises to people and then undo them with a simple asterisk?
What if we all started doing this? What kind of chaotic madness would ensue? What if we did this in our marriages and we had to explain our asterisks?
"Honey, I love you*"
"What was that?"
"I said I love you*"
"Yeah, I heard you, but what's with the asterisk?"
"Oh, you heard that?"
"Yeah. I did. What does that mean?"
"Um, it means that I love you...unless you don't get the laundry done today, in which case I plan on being mad at you until bedtime and saying mean things about your mother during dinner."
"You're a jerk*"
"Ok, what did that asterisk mean??"
"It means that the word 'jerk' was substituted for what I really wanted to call you."
"Oh. Never mind then. I'm sorry*. I really do love you.**"
"I heard those too! What did those mean?!"
"Man, I thought those were quieter...Ok, the first one meant, 'No, I'm not', and the second one meant, 'I hope this is still true'."
"Get out."
The asterisk could conceivably single-handedly dismantle the institution of marriage in approximately 12 minutes****.
What if Christians did this while we were singing?
"Create in me a clean heart*, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me**..."
*Except, not really. I kinda like my heart dirty, thanks. I'm just singing along so I don't stand out. You understand.
**Same thing with this one too. Leave my spirit alone please.
"I have decided to follow Jesus*, no turning back**, no turning back***"
*Except when He leads me somewhere that I don't really want to go, in which case, I'll catch up with Him later on.
**I might turn back.
***Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll turn back.
What do we really mean when we say the things we say to God and to others? What if our mental "asterisks" were actually audible and people knew that we weren't being completely honest?
The Bible says that God already knows our hearts. Just because other people don't know our hearts doesn't mean that we should go around being dishonest with them. We will be held accountable for that.
Let me challenge you to give more thought to the things that you say before you say them. I know that I need to do that. God is listening, and He expects us to be truthful and honest with one another.
Small problems can arise when we are honest with each other, but much larger problems can arise when we aren't.
By the way, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging much lately.*****
* No I'm not.
** No. Seriously. I'm not. I don't have it to give, even if I wanted to. Stop trying to get rich off of me.
***Unsure of spelling.
****Not mine, of course, but other people's.
****No I'm not. I told you from the beginning that I wouldn't do a very good job with it. It's kind of your fault for thinking that I could. So check yourself before you wriggity-wreck yourself.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Missing the Mark?
As I was checking out my items at the local Target last week, a man stood behind me with a few items of his own.
I only tell you this next part so that you can get a visual image...the man was an older, very short Chinese man wearing a windbreaker and glasses. He was purchasing three containers of hot chocolate mix.
In case anyone is thinking of accusing me of being racist, allow me to quote Jerry Seinfeld on this issue:
"If I LIKE their race, how can that be racist?"
Anyway...
As the conveyor belt moved forward and transported my items to the front of the line, they also began to move his items forward. His items were at least 2 feet away from mine when the conveyor belt began to move.
Well, the man lurched forward, put both arms over his items and pulled them back towards him as the conveyor belt tried in vain to move them.
...wow.
When I glanced slowly back at him to see who I was dealing with, he avoided my gaze, looked down, and slowly released his hold on his hot chocolate as the conveyor belt stopped.
I thought to myself, "What exactly does this man think is going to happen here?"
Here are some possibilities of what was going through his mind:
- "My hot chocolate is going to be stolen and I am too small and old to fight this tall, strong, handsome man for it."
- "My hot chocolate is about to be stolen, and I fear that I may instinctively use my karate, if provoked. This would be unfortunate."
- "Just because I am old does not mean that I need a conveyor belt to move my hot chocolate. I can do it myself. I will show you in a moment."
- "Oh no. I have left my wallet in the car. Must stop hot chocolate from moving forward."
- "If my hot chocolate touches this man's Blu-Ray, I could go bald."
- "I did not know that there would be a conveyor belt or I would have worn my sneakers...I cannot possibly keep up."
- "I do not like the other people who shop in this store. They are trashy and tall. Why don't they just go to Wal-Mart where they belong."
Was he thinking that I might see his hot chocolate, decide that I wanted some, and just take it from him?
Was he thinking that I might accidentally pay for his hot chocolate and take it home while he was looking at the magazines?
What exactly is the potentially threatening/dangerous scenario that causes people to do this?
Here we are, two grown men, standing at a check-out line...
Instead of assuming that we will be able to clear up any misunderstanding with the cashier concerning mixed up items (by talking with her about which items belong to us and which ones don't), one of us feels the need to put at least 17 feet between my items and his.
What is the worst that could happen in this situation? Let's say that he and I aren't paying attention and she accidentally rang up his items with mine...
Cashier - "That'll be $38.94, sir."
Me - "Oh no."
Chinese Man - "Oh no."
Cashier - "What seems to be the problem, sir?"
Me - "You rang up his items with mine."
[pause, as I exchange frightened, and potentially hostile looks with the Chinese man]
[music plays - from one of those old Clint Eastwood movies where nobody is really speaking English except for Clint]
Cashier - [hysterically, breaking into tears, running in small circles and flailing her arms] "WHAT???WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THE STICKS!!?? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?? I HAVEN'T TRAINED FOR THIS!!! AAAAAHHHH!!! JONAS, PULL THE ALARM, WE'VE GOT MIXED-UP ITEMS!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!! KELLY, CALL SECURITY IN CASE HE TRIES TO ESCAPE WITH THE HOT CHOCOLATE!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!! BARNEY, GET THIS CHINESE MAN OFF OF THIS BALD MAN...I THINK HE'S GOING TO KILL HIM WITH HIS KARATE!!! IF YOU HAD JUST STAYED AT WAL-MART WHERE YOU BELONG NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING!!!"
See? Not very realistic.
Let me say this: I do understand the little sticks that they have. I use those sometimes, but only because there are people at the store who have NO respect for the personal space of my items. They put their stuff RIGHT NEXT to mine and I just can't have that.
This was different, though. I was almost offended by this (not quite, though). I had no evil plans for this man's hot chocolate, but I got the distinct impression that he thought I might.
Sometimes I wonder if we are losing the ability to communicate with people.
On some level, I think that supermarkets, large retail stores, & consumerism in general have created a distance between people that God never intended. We stand right next to people all the time and yet we never speak. We seem more concerned about what we are about to buy than we are about the person standing right behind us.
Jesus saw people. I doubt that He would have ever stood in line anywhere and not talked to the people around Him.
On one occasion, a very large crowd had gathered to see Him and He "saw" Zacchaeus in a tree. Why? Because he was looking for him.
As Christians, I'm not sure if God is concerned with what we buy at Target; but I'm pretty sure He is concerned with the other people around us. Maybe we should start trying to pay more attention to them so that we can be more like Him.
But let's keep the sticks. I like those.
I only tell you this next part so that you can get a visual image...the man was an older, very short Chinese man wearing a windbreaker and glasses. He was purchasing three containers of hot chocolate mix.
In case anyone is thinking of accusing me of being racist, allow me to quote Jerry Seinfeld on this issue:
"If I LIKE their race, how can that be racist?"
Anyway...
As the conveyor belt moved forward and transported my items to the front of the line, they also began to move his items forward. His items were at least 2 feet away from mine when the conveyor belt began to move.
Well, the man lurched forward, put both arms over his items and pulled them back towards him as the conveyor belt tried in vain to move them.
...wow.
When I glanced slowly back at him to see who I was dealing with, he avoided my gaze, looked down, and slowly released his hold on his hot chocolate as the conveyor belt stopped.
I thought to myself, "What exactly does this man think is going to happen here?"
Here are some possibilities of what was going through his mind:
- "My hot chocolate is going to be stolen and I am too small and old to fight this tall, strong, handsome man for it."
- "My hot chocolate is about to be stolen, and I fear that I may instinctively use my karate, if provoked. This would be unfortunate."
- "Just because I am old does not mean that I need a conveyor belt to move my hot chocolate. I can do it myself. I will show you in a moment."
- "Oh no. I have left my wallet in the car. Must stop hot chocolate from moving forward."
- "If my hot chocolate touches this man's Blu-Ray, I could go bald."
- "I did not know that there would be a conveyor belt or I would have worn my sneakers...I cannot possibly keep up."
- "I do not like the other people who shop in this store. They are trashy and tall. Why don't they just go to Wal-Mart where they belong."
Was he thinking that I might see his hot chocolate, decide that I wanted some, and just take it from him?
Was he thinking that I might accidentally pay for his hot chocolate and take it home while he was looking at the magazines?
What exactly is the potentially threatening/dangerous scenario that causes people to do this?
Here we are, two grown men, standing at a check-out line...
Instead of assuming that we will be able to clear up any misunderstanding with the cashier concerning mixed up items (by talking with her about which items belong to us and which ones don't), one of us feels the need to put at least 17 feet between my items and his.
What is the worst that could happen in this situation? Let's say that he and I aren't paying attention and she accidentally rang up his items with mine...
Cashier - "That'll be $38.94, sir."
Me - "Oh no."
Chinese Man - "Oh no."
Cashier - "What seems to be the problem, sir?"
Me - "You rang up his items with mine."
[pause, as I exchange frightened, and potentially hostile looks with the Chinese man]
[music plays - from one of those old Clint Eastwood movies where nobody is really speaking English except for Clint]
Cashier - [hysterically, breaking into tears, running in small circles and flailing her arms] "WHAT???WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THE STICKS!!?? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?? I HAVEN'T TRAINED FOR THIS!!! AAAAAHHHH!!! JONAS, PULL THE ALARM, WE'VE GOT MIXED-UP ITEMS!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!! KELLY, CALL SECURITY IN CASE HE TRIES TO ESCAPE WITH THE HOT CHOCOLATE!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!! BARNEY, GET THIS CHINESE MAN OFF OF THIS BALD MAN...I THINK HE'S GOING TO KILL HIM WITH HIS KARATE!!! IF YOU HAD JUST STAYED AT WAL-MART WHERE YOU BELONG NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING!!!"
See? Not very realistic.
Let me say this: I do understand the little sticks that they have. I use those sometimes, but only because there are people at the store who have NO respect for the personal space of my items. They put their stuff RIGHT NEXT to mine and I just can't have that.
This was different, though. I was almost offended by this (not quite, though). I had no evil plans for this man's hot chocolate, but I got the distinct impression that he thought I might.
Sometimes I wonder if we are losing the ability to communicate with people.
On some level, I think that supermarkets, large retail stores, & consumerism in general have created a distance between people that God never intended. We stand right next to people all the time and yet we never speak. We seem more concerned about what we are about to buy than we are about the person standing right behind us.
Jesus saw people. I doubt that He would have ever stood in line anywhere and not talked to the people around Him.
On one occasion, a very large crowd had gathered to see Him and He "saw" Zacchaeus in a tree. Why? Because he was looking for him.
As Christians, I'm not sure if God is concerned with what we buy at Target; but I'm pretty sure He is concerned with the other people around us. Maybe we should start trying to pay more attention to them so that we can be more like Him.
But let's keep the sticks. I like those.
Monday, May 14, 2012
For My Wife, on our Anniversary...
Seven years ago, I married my wife, Brooke.
It was one of the most amazing days of my life.
As I stood outside the church auditorium in Corsicana, TX, waiting to go into the ceremony, I was very nervous. There were lots of people there, the lights were dimmed, and this was different from anything else I had ever done in that auditorium.
I had preached in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had led singing in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had performed VBS skits in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had shot Nerf Guns at teenagers in there and...well, no...I wasn't nervous about that.
But I was nervous about this.
Ferman (our preacher, friend, and the man who performed our wedding) had suggested that I keep a few Kleenex in my pocket in case Brooke began to cry. I had a whole pack of them, ready to go.
I don't remember the exact order of things that day, and I don't remember everything that was said, but I do remember seeing Brooke come through the back doors and walking down that aisle.
She was breathtakingly beautiful.
She was smiling as big as I had ever seen her smile and she radiated a glow that was visible to everyone, especially me. She could have taken thirty minutes to walk down that aisle and I wouldn't have rushed her. I would have watched her for every second.
As it turns out, I did need the Kleenex. But not for her.
I believe I had to blow my nose two or three times during that ceremony. And these weren't "polite" nose-blowings. These were "honks". I'm glad that she didn't cry much, because I'm not sure I could have spared a Kleenex.
Vows were made.
Songs were sung.
Candles were lit.
Noses were blown.
Two became one that day in a mysterious and beautiful way that only God can truly understand.
As we walked down that aisle together after our first kiss as man and wife, we were simply overjoyed. I think I could have flown out of that auditorium.
There are lots of things that happened that day that were kind of a blur. I remember bits and pieces of them as I look back and think about that day. I remember different people being there and smiling with them, hugging them, and appreciating them being there.
Most of it was a blur.
But there is one thing that isn't blurry...
That was the day that I married the woman I loved.
That was the day that I married the woman who I intend to love for the rest of my life.
Other than the day I became a Christian, that was the greatest day of my life.
After seven years with Brooke, there is no "itch". There is no desire whatsoever to be with anyone but her. She is still my best friend and the woman of my dreams. I am just as excited to go on a date with her tonight as I was when we first met.
She still makes me laugh. She is still my best friend. She is still breathtakingly beautiful. And there are moments when I look at her and still need Kleenex.
I love you, Brooke, and I always will.
Happy Anniversary:)
It was one of the most amazing days of my life.
As I stood outside the church auditorium in Corsicana, TX, waiting to go into the ceremony, I was very nervous. There were lots of people there, the lights were dimmed, and this was different from anything else I had ever done in that auditorium.
I had preached in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had led singing in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had performed VBS skits in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had shot Nerf Guns at teenagers in there and...well, no...I wasn't nervous about that.
But I was nervous about this.
Ferman (our preacher, friend, and the man who performed our wedding) had suggested that I keep a few Kleenex in my pocket in case Brooke began to cry. I had a whole pack of them, ready to go.
I don't remember the exact order of things that day, and I don't remember everything that was said, but I do remember seeing Brooke come through the back doors and walking down that aisle.
She was breathtakingly beautiful.
She was smiling as big as I had ever seen her smile and she radiated a glow that was visible to everyone, especially me. She could have taken thirty minutes to walk down that aisle and I wouldn't have rushed her. I would have watched her for every second.
As it turns out, I did need the Kleenex. But not for her.
I believe I had to blow my nose two or three times during that ceremony. And these weren't "polite" nose-blowings. These were "honks". I'm glad that she didn't cry much, because I'm not sure I could have spared a Kleenex.
Vows were made.
Songs were sung.
Candles were lit.
Noses were blown.
Two became one that day in a mysterious and beautiful way that only God can truly understand.
As we walked down that aisle together after our first kiss as man and wife, we were simply overjoyed. I think I could have flown out of that auditorium.
There are lots of things that happened that day that were kind of a blur. I remember bits and pieces of them as I look back and think about that day. I remember different people being there and smiling with them, hugging them, and appreciating them being there.
Most of it was a blur.
But there is one thing that isn't blurry...
That was the day that I married the woman I loved.
That was the day that I married the woman who I intend to love for the rest of my life.
Other than the day I became a Christian, that was the greatest day of my life.
After seven years with Brooke, there is no "itch". There is no desire whatsoever to be with anyone but her. She is still my best friend and the woman of my dreams. I am just as excited to go on a date with her tonight as I was when we first met.
She still makes me laugh. She is still my best friend. She is still breathtakingly beautiful. And there are moments when I look at her and still need Kleenex.
I love you, Brooke, and I always will.
Happy Anniversary:)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
To My Mom on Mother's Day
For changing diapers, wiping noses
Cooking meals, and teaching Moses
For haircuts, clothes, piano lessons
Cleaning up our daily messes
For Photon guns and new Nintendos
Vacuuming and cleaning windows
For scoldings, groundings, even whippings
All those "buds"....and all those "nippings"
For hugs and smiles and always caring
Cakes and pies and always sharing
For Bible verses every morning
All those annual tree-adornings
For trips and times with family
To see the things we'd never seen
For birthdays and for singing songs
For praising rights, and righting wrongs
For never giving up on me
And seeing things no one could see
For having faith and loving God
For loving Brent, and Shane and Todd
For daytime snacks and Perry Mason
Egg milkshakes and never wasting
For swimming trips when it got hotter
And handmade dresses for my daughters
For being Mom and Nana too
For loving me and being you
For all these things and much, much more
And all I've never thanked you for...
Thank you Mom
I love you
Happy Mother's Day
Cooking meals, and teaching Moses
For haircuts, clothes, piano lessons
Cleaning up our daily messes
For Photon guns and new Nintendos
Vacuuming and cleaning windows
For scoldings, groundings, even whippings
All those "buds"....and all those "nippings"
For hugs and smiles and always caring
Cakes and pies and always sharing
For Bible verses every morning
All those annual tree-adornings
For trips and times with family
To see the things we'd never seen
For birthdays and for singing songs
For praising rights, and righting wrongs
For never giving up on me
And seeing things no one could see
For having faith and loving God
For loving Brent, and Shane and Todd
For daytime snacks and Perry Mason
Egg milkshakes and never wasting
For swimming trips when it got hotter
And handmade dresses for my daughters
For being Mom and Nana too
For loving me and being you
For all these things and much, much more
And all I've never thanked you for...
Thank you Mom
I love you
Happy Mother's Day
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Loosely Associated?
During the coming attractions for the Avengers, they showed a preview for the upcoming movie, "Battleship". The opening tagline was...
"From Hasbro: the company who brought you 'Transformers'"
Wow.
I actually laughed out loud.
What's next?
"From the people who had lunch with the producers of movies like 'Avatar'..."
"From the people who wish they had made 'The Dark Knight'..."
"From the second cousin, twice removed of the guy who did the craft services on 'Field of Dreams'..."
Let me say this: Battleship might be a good movie (you'll have to tell me about it because I won't see it), but that tagline is massively ridiculous.
Hasbro???
Hasbro is a toy company, last time I looked. They make toys.
Let me be clear. I like toys.
But...
How can Hasbro claim any credit for the Transformers movie? Other than selling the rights to it, I can't imagine that they had anything to do with actually making that movie.
If I'm wrong, it wouldn't be the first time...
And if Battleship is anything like the game that I grew up playing, it certainly won't be very exciting. It will be long, frustrating, and we will constantly be wondering if the other people in the theater are somehow cheating.
"Did you smuggle those Skittles in here?"
"Um. No."
"I think you did. I saw you pull them out of your cargo pants."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did. I was looking right at you when you did it. At first, I thought you had a tumor on the side of your leg, until I heard the rattling. And besides, they don't even SELL a one pound bag of Skittles at the movie theater!!"
"...Are you gonna tell on me?"
"I might."
"Please don't.....do you want some?"
"[disgusted] Do I want some??? Why, the nerve!! [looks around, cautiously].....Yes, please."
We might even walk out before it's over because it may seem like it is simply too much work.
At best, it will be hit and miss (pretend you heard a rim shot).
Why do people take credit for successful things that they had very little to do with, especially when they DON'T take credit for their mistakes?
Interestingly, the tagline for Battleship wasn't, "From Hasbro: The company who brought you the 'Care Bears' movie".
I have a feeling that some people are behaving this way, spiritually.
I know that I have in the past.
They take credit for being part of the Lord's Church, even though they really aren't functioning as part of it (and they certainly aren't taking the credit for the damage they've done to it by not actually living the Christian life).
They are connected to the Church somehow.
They are loosely associated with it to some degree.
But they don't function. They don't participate. They aren't engaged.
As we study our New Testament, being part of the Church is more than showing up a few times a week, sitting in a pew, plunking down a few dollars in the plate, and "joining the club".
It is active, daily involvement. It is sacrifice. It is relationships. It is commitment beyond the walls of an air-conditioned building.
The difference between what Hasbro did and what the makers of the movie "Transformers" did was this:
- The makers of the "Transformers" movie made it "real".
- Hasbro made toys...and then they took credit for making something real.
Instead of feeling satisfied with ourselves for being able to answer the question, "Where do you go to church?" (as if that is what our faith is supposed to be boiled down to), maybe we should ask ourselves a more difficult question: "Am I a functioning part of the Lord's Church?"
If someone were to ask my right eyeball, "What do you do for Jeremy?", it would have an answer...because it has a function, and it performs that function on a regular basis. The same would be true for any other part of my body (although I'd be very interested in what my left ear lobe would have to say...).
On Judgment Day, we won't be judged by our loose association with a group of people who met in a building three times a week; we will be judged by whether or not we died to ourselves, lived for Christ, and functioned as part of His body.
So, from the guy who brought you the blog that referred to the movie "Transformers", let's all make sure we're plugged in and working!
[DISCLAIMER: I realize the limits of this analogy. I ain't hatin' on Hasbro. I love their toys]
"From Hasbro: the company who brought you 'Transformers'"
Wow.
I actually laughed out loud.
What's next?
"From the people who had lunch with the producers of movies like 'Avatar'..."
"From the people who wish they had made 'The Dark Knight'..."
"From the second cousin, twice removed of the guy who did the craft services on 'Field of Dreams'..."
Let me say this: Battleship might be a good movie (you'll have to tell me about it because I won't see it), but that tagline is massively ridiculous.
Hasbro???
Hasbro is a toy company, last time I looked. They make toys.
Let me be clear. I like toys.
But...
How can Hasbro claim any credit for the Transformers movie? Other than selling the rights to it, I can't imagine that they had anything to do with actually making that movie.
If I'm wrong, it wouldn't be the first time...
And if Battleship is anything like the game that I grew up playing, it certainly won't be very exciting. It will be long, frustrating, and we will constantly be wondering if the other people in the theater are somehow cheating.
"Did you smuggle those Skittles in here?"
"Um. No."
"I think you did. I saw you pull them out of your cargo pants."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did. I was looking right at you when you did it. At first, I thought you had a tumor on the side of your leg, until I heard the rattling. And besides, they don't even SELL a one pound bag of Skittles at the movie theater!!"
"...Are you gonna tell on me?"
"I might."
"Please don't.....do you want some?"
"[disgusted] Do I want some??? Why, the nerve!! [looks around, cautiously].....Yes, please."
We might even walk out before it's over because it may seem like it is simply too much work.
At best, it will be hit and miss (pretend you heard a rim shot).
Why do people take credit for successful things that they had very little to do with, especially when they DON'T take credit for their mistakes?
Interestingly, the tagline for Battleship wasn't, "From Hasbro: The company who brought you the 'Care Bears' movie".
I have a feeling that some people are behaving this way, spiritually.
I know that I have in the past.
They take credit for being part of the Lord's Church, even though they really aren't functioning as part of it (and they certainly aren't taking the credit for the damage they've done to it by not actually living the Christian life).
They are connected to the Church somehow.
They are loosely associated with it to some degree.
But they don't function. They don't participate. They aren't engaged.
As we study our New Testament, being part of the Church is more than showing up a few times a week, sitting in a pew, plunking down a few dollars in the plate, and "joining the club".
It is active, daily involvement. It is sacrifice. It is relationships. It is commitment beyond the walls of an air-conditioned building.
The difference between what Hasbro did and what the makers of the movie "Transformers" did was this:
- The makers of the "Transformers" movie made it "real".
- Hasbro made toys...and then they took credit for making something real.
Instead of feeling satisfied with ourselves for being able to answer the question, "Where do you go to church?" (as if that is what our faith is supposed to be boiled down to), maybe we should ask ourselves a more difficult question: "Am I a functioning part of the Lord's Church?"
If someone were to ask my right eyeball, "What do you do for Jeremy?", it would have an answer...because it has a function, and it performs that function on a regular basis. The same would be true for any other part of my body (although I'd be very interested in what my left ear lobe would have to say...).
On Judgment Day, we won't be judged by our loose association with a group of people who met in a building three times a week; we will be judged by whether or not we died to ourselves, lived for Christ, and functioned as part of His body.
So, from the guy who brought you the blog that referred to the movie "Transformers", let's all make sure we're plugged in and working!
[DISCLAIMER: I realize the limits of this analogy. I ain't hatin' on Hasbro. I love their toys]
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Coast
One of my best friends is a guy named Ray Coast.
I call him Coast, because he likes to be called Coast.
...
And if I don't call him that, I'm afraid he might punch me.
Coast and I have been friends for several years now and we are very different.
Not "different" like ketchup and mustard; "different" like ketchup and a car battery.
Let me try to summarize some of these differences:
- He was in the military. The closest I have ever gotten is buying "We Were Soldiers" on DVD (I've seen it multiple times, though, if that counts for anything).
- He works out a lot and has lots of muscles. I don't work out and therefore have none.
- He likes to shoot guns, drive motorcycles, jump off of cliffs, work on & ride Jeeps, and generally see how close he can get to death without actually dying. Me, on the other hand...I only shoot a gun when it's connected to an arcade game; I'm not allowed onto a motorcycle (which is a convenient excuse that my wife gives me to help me preserve my manhood); I think it's pointless to jump off of a perfectly good cliff; I drive a Camry (which I can't work on myself); and I'm scared to go into Wal-Mart in the middle of the night (which, you have to admit, is rather risky).
- He has no problem with confrontation. I tend to avoid it. We went to the movies last night and if I hadn't stepped in, I think he may have punched the rude young lady who was ringing up his Twizzlers (in his defense, though, I kinda wanted to punch her too. She was being a turd).
- He can lift large amounts of weight. He has bench-pressed 500 lbs, if that puts it into perspective. Me? Well, I have also bench-pressed 500 lbs....total....in my entire life...in increments of approximately 4 lbs per press.
- When he punches me in the arm, as a joke, it hurts. When I punch him in the arm, trying to hurt him...it's a joke.
- If he sees someone broken down on the side of the road, he stops. He stops, not only because he cares about the person, but because he can actually help them. Whatever might be wrong with their vehicle (blown engine, flat tire, deer through the windshield, spontaneous combustion, etc.) I'm pretty sure he has a tool in his Jeep that'll fix it. On the other hand, if I see someone broken down on the side of the road, I start thinking a few things:
1. I have nothing to offer this person except sympathy and a cell phone. Sympathy won't help and I already see them talking on a cell phone.
2. I know just enough about cars to help someone who is at a gas pump for the first time and is a bit confused. Beyond that, I'm pretty useless.
3. I am a bit concerned about whether that old lady on the side of the road might have a weapon in her purse, planning to carjack the first person who falls for her little trick. Not all old ladies are nice. Some are devious.
I could go on, but I think you get my point. We are different.
However, we are bonded together by something that is much stronger than any of our differences (something other than our mutual love for superhero movies and loud music).
We are both trying our best to follow Jesus.
Trust me, there is nothing else in the world that would/could have ever brought us together.
Jesus did.
We have strengthened and sharpened one another in ways that neither of us expected. Our relationship has been one of the most surprising and beneficial gifts that God has ever given me.
When I think about how many Christians out there are missing out on fulfilling, encouraging, edifying (and perhaps challenging) friendships because they only want to be around people who are like them, it makes me sad.
Jesus didn't die on a cross to bring us together with all of the people who are just like us...
He died on a cross to bring us together with everyone.
With people who are nothing like us.
With people who complement us.
With people who can reach those we can't reach with the Gospel.
With people who can make us better than we are right now.
He died on a cross to bridge the gap between the soldier and the artist; between the gunslinger and the peacemaker; between the fearless and the timid.
And it works.
If we will participate.
So I challenge you to look past the people you THINK you would get along with and to allow Jesus to bring you into a relationship that you could have never planned for yourself.
And if me or Coast fits that description, we could always use another friend:)
I call him Coast, because he likes to be called Coast.
...
And if I don't call him that, I'm afraid he might punch me.
Coast and I have been friends for several years now and we are very different.
Not "different" like ketchup and mustard; "different" like ketchup and a car battery.
Let me try to summarize some of these differences:
- He was in the military. The closest I have ever gotten is buying "We Were Soldiers" on DVD (I've seen it multiple times, though, if that counts for anything).
- He works out a lot and has lots of muscles. I don't work out and therefore have none.
- He likes to shoot guns, drive motorcycles, jump off of cliffs, work on & ride Jeeps, and generally see how close he can get to death without actually dying. Me, on the other hand...I only shoot a gun when it's connected to an arcade game; I'm not allowed onto a motorcycle (which is a convenient excuse that my wife gives me to help me preserve my manhood); I think it's pointless to jump off of a perfectly good cliff; I drive a Camry (which I can't work on myself); and I'm scared to go into Wal-Mart in the middle of the night (which, you have to admit, is rather risky).
- He has no problem with confrontation. I tend to avoid it. We went to the movies last night and if I hadn't stepped in, I think he may have punched the rude young lady who was ringing up his Twizzlers (in his defense, though, I kinda wanted to punch her too. She was being a turd).
- He can lift large amounts of weight. He has bench-pressed 500 lbs, if that puts it into perspective. Me? Well, I have also bench-pressed 500 lbs....total....in my entire life...in increments of approximately 4 lbs per press.
- When he punches me in the arm, as a joke, it hurts. When I punch him in the arm, trying to hurt him...it's a joke.
- If he sees someone broken down on the side of the road, he stops. He stops, not only because he cares about the person, but because he can actually help them. Whatever might be wrong with their vehicle (blown engine, flat tire, deer through the windshield, spontaneous combustion, etc.) I'm pretty sure he has a tool in his Jeep that'll fix it. On the other hand, if I see someone broken down on the side of the road, I start thinking a few things:
1. I have nothing to offer this person except sympathy and a cell phone. Sympathy won't help and I already see them talking on a cell phone.
2. I know just enough about cars to help someone who is at a gas pump for the first time and is a bit confused. Beyond that, I'm pretty useless.
3. I am a bit concerned about whether that old lady on the side of the road might have a weapon in her purse, planning to carjack the first person who falls for her little trick. Not all old ladies are nice. Some are devious.
I could go on, but I think you get my point. We are different.
However, we are bonded together by something that is much stronger than any of our differences (something other than our mutual love for superhero movies and loud music).
We are both trying our best to follow Jesus.
Trust me, there is nothing else in the world that would/could have ever brought us together.
Jesus did.
We have strengthened and sharpened one another in ways that neither of us expected. Our relationship has been one of the most surprising and beneficial gifts that God has ever given me.
When I think about how many Christians out there are missing out on fulfilling, encouraging, edifying (and perhaps challenging) friendships because they only want to be around people who are like them, it makes me sad.
Jesus didn't die on a cross to bring us together with all of the people who are just like us...
He died on a cross to bring us together with everyone.
With people who are nothing like us.
With people who complement us.
With people who can reach those we can't reach with the Gospel.
With people who can make us better than we are right now.
He died on a cross to bridge the gap between the soldier and the artist; between the gunslinger and the peacemaker; between the fearless and the timid.
And it works.
If we will participate.
So I challenge you to look past the people you THINK you would get along with and to allow Jesus to bring you into a relationship that you could have never planned for yourself.
And if me or Coast fits that description, we could always use another friend:)
Monday, May 7, 2012
Busy Week...
It's been a few days since I blogged.
For those of you who read regularly, I apologize.
I have failed you.
In my defense, I pretty much told you in my very first blog that I would fail you.
Why did I fail you? Good question.
It has been a very busy week for us:
1. We have put together a crib and a dresser for our second child - who is due on June 7th.
Let me clarify...when I say "we", I mean "me". My wife is highly pregnant and asking her to help me put a crib together would just be cruel. No, while I was doing that, she was pressure-washing the roof (don't freak out, it's a one-story house and I took my headphones off to listen for "thuds" every 25 minutes). She's fine.
I'm going to be honest, though...I'm not a very good craftsman when it comes to putting furniture together. I had just about finished the dresser - and was ready to put the drawers in - when I realized that the middle section had been installed upside-down. 30 minutes (and several deep breaths) later, I had corrected the problem.
I also made the boneheaded decision to put the crib together in our bedroom (so that I wouldn't wake Ava up), only to realize that I couldn't get it out of the room once it was built.
After a futile plea for Brooke to allow our child to just live in our room with us, I just had to disassemble that thing and take it out one piece at a time...Johnny Cash-style.
2. I installed shelves in Ava's closet, so that we have more room for Greta's inevitable mountain of belongings.
I had never done this before, but I will have to say that I did a pretty good job with this task. Those shelves are pretty sturdy. I took a nap on one of them while I was supposed to be working.
3. I made a trip to TN for my Grandmother's surgery. She had a shunt put in to drain fluid from her brain. She is recovering in a nursing home and we hope that she will be able to go back home soon. Time will tell. Please keep her in your prayers.
4. I went to the midnight showing of The Avengers on Thursday night with my friend (and fellow Avenger-wanna-be) Drew Taylor.
We went very early and I drew sketches of super heroes for 3 hours while we waited for the movie to start. I gave them away to various people and they seemed pleased.
By the way, the movie was awesome and I would highly recommend it. I'm actually going to see it again tonight with another friend. Plus, Disney really needs my money. They're struggling.
5. My parents visited this weekend for Greta's baby shower on Sunday.
We had a great visit. They brought Ava a little shopping cart and some plastic groceries (which almost match the texture of the ones we buy at Wal-Mart, ironically) and she has been crashing it into the walls and furniture ever since. I think we'll wait a few more years before we let her start driving the car.
I know what you're thinking: "You will be waiting 16 years before Ava drives!"
Yeah, right. Like anybody actually follows that rule. The child can open my phone already...she'll be driving by the time she's 8.
6. We had a Senior recognition banquet after worship last night to honor two of our Seniors who are graduating this year (congratulations Emma & Rachael:); I was in charge of making the video for that.
There are so many things that I could focus on, but I think I'll focus on something that all of the above seem to have in common.
We need to get ready.
Of all the things in this life that we need to prepare for - babies, death, movie premieres, visits from parents, graduation, etc. - eternity is certainly the most important.
How much time have we spent in the past week getting ready for that?
The tricky thing about eternity is that it could begin at any time.
- We waited 8 months to get our child's crib & dresser built because we knew we had 9 months.
- I waited until the day of the surgery to visit my Grandmother because I knew when the surgery was going to be.
- I put off doing the Senior video for several weeks because I knew that I had time to wait.
- I didn't clean the guest room for my parents until Saturday, because I knew they weren't coming until then.
- I went to the theater on the day of the movie premier because Brooke wouldn't let me go a week early (I realize that this one doesn't help me prove my point, but I'm just keepin' it real).
My point is that we usually procrastinate, don't we? And it doesn't usually get us into too much trouble.
Eternity is different. We could be in LOTS of trouble if we aren't prepared for that.
So pick up your Bible, read the instructions, and make sure that you're following them as closely as possible...
And if you've put something together upside-down, it's not too late to fix it:)
For those of you who read regularly, I apologize.
I have failed you.
In my defense, I pretty much told you in my very first blog that I would fail you.
Why did I fail you? Good question.
It has been a very busy week for us:
1. We have put together a crib and a dresser for our second child - who is due on June 7th.
Let me clarify...when I say "we", I mean "me". My wife is highly pregnant and asking her to help me put a crib together would just be cruel. No, while I was doing that, she was pressure-washing the roof (don't freak out, it's a one-story house and I took my headphones off to listen for "thuds" every 25 minutes). She's fine.
I'm going to be honest, though...I'm not a very good craftsman when it comes to putting furniture together. I had just about finished the dresser - and was ready to put the drawers in - when I realized that the middle section had been installed upside-down. 30 minutes (and several deep breaths) later, I had corrected the problem.
I also made the boneheaded decision to put the crib together in our bedroom (so that I wouldn't wake Ava up), only to realize that I couldn't get it out of the room once it was built.
After a futile plea for Brooke to allow our child to just live in our room with us, I just had to disassemble that thing and take it out one piece at a time...Johnny Cash-style.
2. I installed shelves in Ava's closet, so that we have more room for Greta's inevitable mountain of belongings.
I had never done this before, but I will have to say that I did a pretty good job with this task. Those shelves are pretty sturdy. I took a nap on one of them while I was supposed to be working.
3. I made a trip to TN for my Grandmother's surgery. She had a shunt put in to drain fluid from her brain. She is recovering in a nursing home and we hope that she will be able to go back home soon. Time will tell. Please keep her in your prayers.
4. I went to the midnight showing of The Avengers on Thursday night with my friend (and fellow Avenger-wanna-be) Drew Taylor.
We went very early and I drew sketches of super heroes for 3 hours while we waited for the movie to start. I gave them away to various people and they seemed pleased.
By the way, the movie was awesome and I would highly recommend it. I'm actually going to see it again tonight with another friend. Plus, Disney really needs my money. They're struggling.
5. My parents visited this weekend for Greta's baby shower on Sunday.
We had a great visit. They brought Ava a little shopping cart and some plastic groceries (which almost match the texture of the ones we buy at Wal-Mart, ironically) and she has been crashing it into the walls and furniture ever since. I think we'll wait a few more years before we let her start driving the car.
I know what you're thinking: "You will be waiting 16 years before Ava drives!"
Yeah, right. Like anybody actually follows that rule. The child can open my phone already...she'll be driving by the time she's 8.
6. We had a Senior recognition banquet after worship last night to honor two of our Seniors who are graduating this year (congratulations Emma & Rachael:); I was in charge of making the video for that.
There are so many things that I could focus on, but I think I'll focus on something that all of the above seem to have in common.
We need to get ready.
Of all the things in this life that we need to prepare for - babies, death, movie premieres, visits from parents, graduation, etc. - eternity is certainly the most important.
How much time have we spent in the past week getting ready for that?
The tricky thing about eternity is that it could begin at any time.
- We waited 8 months to get our child's crib & dresser built because we knew we had 9 months.
- I waited until the day of the surgery to visit my Grandmother because I knew when the surgery was going to be.
- I put off doing the Senior video for several weeks because I knew that I had time to wait.
- I didn't clean the guest room for my parents until Saturday, because I knew they weren't coming until then.
- I went to the theater on the day of the movie premier because Brooke wouldn't let me go a week early (I realize that this one doesn't help me prove my point, but I'm just keepin' it real).
My point is that we usually procrastinate, don't we? And it doesn't usually get us into too much trouble.
Eternity is different. We could be in LOTS of trouble if we aren't prepared for that.
So pick up your Bible, read the instructions, and make sure that you're following them as closely as possible...
And if you've put something together upside-down, it's not too late to fix it:)
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