Our second child was born yesterday.
Greta Elizabeth Pate.
7 lbs. and 18 inches long.
As I sit at my home computer, with my oldest daughter taking a nap in her crib and my wife and newborn daughter resting at the hospital...
I am overwhelmed.
I'm sure I could come up with some funny observations about Greta's birth experience (and I might do that soon), but today, all I can say is "thank you" and "please help me".
My God has given me another precious soul to watch over; to love, to train, and to one day let go of. The task set before me as the father of two little girls is truly awesome.
I will be the one who molds their view of men, in general. If they end up trusting men, it will be because they trust me. If they end up not trusting men, it will probably be my fault.
I will be the one who creates their expectations of how a husband should treat his wife, and how a wife should treat her husband. If they end up not settling for anyone who won't treat them like a Queen, I will have played a part in that by the way that I treat their Mother. If they settle for some punk who has no idea how to treat a woman...it will probably be my fault.
I will be the one who, as crazy as it sounds, determines their perception of God. If they perceive God as a balanced mixture of love & discipline, I have done my job. If they perceive Him as only love or only discipline, it will probably be my fault.
Beyond the diapers, feedings, sleepless nights, birthday parties, dresses, toys, vacations, and kisses on the cheek...lies an eternally monumental responsibility.
Being a father for little girls is something that I have talked to God about at length. It is something that I have watched others do for the last decade and I have seen, through good examples and bad ones, how important it is. It is a job that I do not take lightly. I do not see myself as simply the provider for my family. That's not going to be enough. I don't see myself as simply the male figure-head in my family. That's not going to be enough.
I see myself as the spiritual leader of my family.
And that's going to be hard.
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
And they aren't.
Will I be the one who makes the decisions that only a Father can make?
Will I be the one who says "no" when everyone else in my family thinks that the answer should be "yes"?
Will I be the one who takes the easy path, or the one who blazes the way towards heaven for those he loves?
Will I stand in the face of Satan himself and say, "You cannot have my family!", or will I cower in the corner as he snatches them away from me?
I am afraid.
I am afraid of not being strong enough, good enough, wise enough, home enough, and man enough.
I am afraid of failing.
I am afraid of watching my girls leave my house with the full knowledge that they are not prepared for life, or for eternity...and that it's my fault.
I am afraid that they I might "run them off" from God if my words and actions don't mix the way that they should.
I am afraid that I won't say and do the right things, or that I won't say and do them often enough.
I am afraid of a lot of things.
But there is one thing that I am afraid of more than anything...
I am afraid of what I KNOW will happen to them if I don't try; if I don't dedicate the next 18+ years to doing the job that God has specifically designated for Jeremy Pate...and no one else.
It is this fear that I pray will drive me through the other ones. It is this fear that will help me make the right decision even when it isn't popular. It is this fear that will overwhelm the other fears.
And really, it's not this fear that will see me through...
It's this love.
This powerful love that I feel for my family, especially for my children. The kind of love that doesn't have to be promised; the kind that simply needs to be carried out consistently and with a dogged determination that can never be exhausted.
I love my children.
Today, that means having a job, providing formula, changing diapers, singing songs, and cleaning up messes.
Tomorrow, it will mean long talks about the Bible...and boys.
The next day, it will mean saying "no"...and sticking to it.
The day after that, it will mean finding the right answers to lots and lots of questions.
Soon, it will mean letting them go.
I am overwhelmed.
As I typed that last sentence, my child began to cry and wake up from her nap.
I have to stop blogging and go take care of her now.
After all, isn't that what love would do?
Friday, June 1, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Birthday Blog
I turn 38 today.
I know what you're thinking...
a. "He's too young looking to be 38!"
b. "I thought he was 50!"
c. "Who cares?"
Either way, it is another birthday for me and I'm grateful for another year that God has given me to live.
Here are some random facts about my birthday, which you may or may not enjoy:
- My parents came down to visit and they took us out to eat last night at Red Lobster, which was very nice. It is always very nice at Red Lobster, but it is even nicer when you don't have to pay. Those cheese biscuits...oh my.
- My Mom made cupcakes, which we ate at the restaurant. Ava (our 17 month old daughter) enjoyed hers very much. She began by trying to stuff the entire thing into her mouth (which I believe is required, according to the toddler code book), and concluded by removing every single bit of icing with her finger, slowly and deliberately. It was a sight.
- After dinner, we went to Barnes & Noble for a while. My Dad bought a book about knives. Don't worry, he's not a psycho...he just likes knives. And books about knives. And movies with knives in them. Ok, maybe he is a psycho. But he's my Dad and I love him and he probably won't stab me since I'm his son and it's my birthday.
- My parents gave me $25 for my birthday, which I promptly spent on a Batman comic at the bookstore (some things never change).
- My wife gave me three Star Wars T-shirts, only one of which I already had. I am particularly excited about the one I'm wearing today that says, "VADER IS COMING...look busy." She also has some other gifts for me today that she has been trying to give me for a month. She is very excited about these gifts, but I have insisted that she wait for my actual birthday before she gives me all of them. Sue me, I'm sentimental.
- We go to the Dr. today to schedule Greta's induction for next week. Lord willing, we will be a family of four in only a few more days:) Please pray for us as we anxiously await our new arrival.
All in all, it has been a great birthday so far, and I appreciate all of the attention (and money) that I have been given. If you have not already given me attention (or money) and would like to, I will be accepting these things up until midnight....September 14th (I like to give people plenty of time to do the belated birthday thing; I figure it's the kind thing to do).
If, after September 14th, you have still not been able to acknowledge my birthday, please speak with me privately and we can arrange an extension.
One might ask, "Why do we celebrate birthdays? What a silly notion!" I have asked that question myself (never on my birthday, though...always on someone else's. When it's my birthday, I think it's a fine thing to do and shouldn't be questioned by anyone).
Here are some reasons:
1. It is a celebration of existence.
2. It is a salute to staying alive.
3. It is a nod to remaining you.
4. It is an acknowledgement of the importance of your place in the world.
5. It is a chance to eat cake.
6. It is none of your business. Just shut up and eat the cake and stop trying to ruin it for everyone else.
Our birthdays are times of reflection. They are times when we are encouraged by those who love us. They are times for us to look back on fond memories and to look forward with optimism.
Most importantly, our birthday is a chance for us to thank God that He made us, and to ask ourselves if we are living up to His plan for our lives.
God had a plan for me before I was ever born (as He does for each of us), and the older I get, the more I am able to actively participate in that plan. To be an active, functioning child of God is truly something to be happy about:)
Yes, this post is shorter than usual, but give me a break. It's my birthday.
I know what you're thinking...
a. "He's too young looking to be 38!"
b. "I thought he was 50!"
c. "Who cares?"
Either way, it is another birthday for me and I'm grateful for another year that God has given me to live.
Here are some random facts about my birthday, which you may or may not enjoy:
- My parents came down to visit and they took us out to eat last night at Red Lobster, which was very nice. It is always very nice at Red Lobster, but it is even nicer when you don't have to pay. Those cheese biscuits...oh my.
- My Mom made cupcakes, which we ate at the restaurant. Ava (our 17 month old daughter) enjoyed hers very much. She began by trying to stuff the entire thing into her mouth (which I believe is required, according to the toddler code book), and concluded by removing every single bit of icing with her finger, slowly and deliberately. It was a sight.
- After dinner, we went to Barnes & Noble for a while. My Dad bought a book about knives. Don't worry, he's not a psycho...he just likes knives. And books about knives. And movies with knives in them. Ok, maybe he is a psycho. But he's my Dad and I love him and he probably won't stab me since I'm his son and it's my birthday.
- My parents gave me $25 for my birthday, which I promptly spent on a Batman comic at the bookstore (some things never change).
- My wife gave me three Star Wars T-shirts, only one of which I already had. I am particularly excited about the one I'm wearing today that says, "VADER IS COMING...look busy." She also has some other gifts for me today that she has been trying to give me for a month. She is very excited about these gifts, but I have insisted that she wait for my actual birthday before she gives me all of them. Sue me, I'm sentimental.
- We go to the Dr. today to schedule Greta's induction for next week. Lord willing, we will be a family of four in only a few more days:) Please pray for us as we anxiously await our new arrival.
All in all, it has been a great birthday so far, and I appreciate all of the attention (and money) that I have been given. If you have not already given me attention (or money) and would like to, I will be accepting these things up until midnight....September 14th (I like to give people plenty of time to do the belated birthday thing; I figure it's the kind thing to do).
If, after September 14th, you have still not been able to acknowledge my birthday, please speak with me privately and we can arrange an extension.
One might ask, "Why do we celebrate birthdays? What a silly notion!" I have asked that question myself (never on my birthday, though...always on someone else's. When it's my birthday, I think it's a fine thing to do and shouldn't be questioned by anyone).
Here are some reasons:
1. It is a celebration of existence.
2. It is a salute to staying alive.
3. It is a nod to remaining you.
4. It is an acknowledgement of the importance of your place in the world.
5. It is a chance to eat cake.
6. It is none of your business. Just shut up and eat the cake and stop trying to ruin it for everyone else.
Our birthdays are times of reflection. They are times when we are encouraged by those who love us. They are times for us to look back on fond memories and to look forward with optimism.
Most importantly, our birthday is a chance for us to thank God that He made us, and to ask ourselves if we are living up to His plan for our lives.
God had a plan for me before I was ever born (as He does for each of us), and the older I get, the more I am able to actively participate in that plan. To be an active, functioning child of God is truly something to be happy about:)
Yes, this post is shorter than usual, but give me a break. It's my birthday.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Best blog ever*
I am going to give $1,000 to everyone who reads this blog today.*
Seriously, I really am.**
Brooke and I took Ava to Sonic for dinner last night (and when I say "dinner", I actually mean "diarrhea") and we noticed something interesting on the menu...
It said, in large letters: "Now serving hand-mixed* shakes."
Did you notice the asterisk beside "hand-mixed"?
I sure did.
It took me a moment to find the line that explained the asterisk, but I finally found it (printed in 2 pt. type at the bottom of the page). I will paraphrase what it said because I had forgotten my telescope and therefore, couldn't read it...
"Not all locations offer hand-mixed shakes."
Well, zippity-doo-da***.
Isn't that convenient for Sonic. Hey Sonic...what about THIS location? How about the one we are currently SITTING at? Do YOU offer hand-mixed shakes, because that's really the only location I'm interested in. I'm not really all that interested in what OTHER people are able to have for dinner.
Which of Sonic's locations offer hand-mixed shakes anyway?
The ones with hands?
What kind of high-dollar, high-tech equipment does Sonic have to ration out to its many locations in order to hand-mix a milkshake anyway?
What does this even mean? Are they sticking their hands in my milkshake now and mixing it around? I'm not sure I want that. And if their hands are too short to reach the bottom of that gigantic Route 44 cup, are they going to use their feet? I need to know this information before I place my order.
I mean, am I supposed to turn to Brooke and say, "Look honey! If we were in a different location, we could have a hand-mixed shake! Let's keep driving until we get lucky!"
By the way, I'm pretty sure they don't have hand-mixed shakes in Northport. Do you want to know why? Because when Brooke got to the middle of her Sonic blast (which I realize isn't a milkshake, but it's awfully close), the toppings suddenly stopped. There were Oreos and then suddenly....there weren't Oreos anymore.
No one who was mixing that by hand would allow that to happen. A machine did that. A mindless, mean-spirited, joyless machine.
What kind of a society are we living in where we can make these outlandish promises to people and then undo them with a simple asterisk?
What if we all started doing this? What kind of chaotic madness would ensue? What if we did this in our marriages and we had to explain our asterisks?
"Honey, I love you*"
"What was that?"
"I said I love you*"
"Yeah, I heard you, but what's with the asterisk?"
"Oh, you heard that?"
"Yeah. I did. What does that mean?"
"Um, it means that I love you...unless you don't get the laundry done today, in which case I plan on being mad at you until bedtime and saying mean things about your mother during dinner."
"You're a jerk*"
"Ok, what did that asterisk mean??"
"It means that the word 'jerk' was substituted for what I really wanted to call you."
"Oh. Never mind then. I'm sorry*. I really do love you.**"
"I heard those too! What did those mean?!"
"Man, I thought those were quieter...Ok, the first one meant, 'No, I'm not', and the second one meant, 'I hope this is still true'."
"Get out."
The asterisk could conceivably single-handedly dismantle the institution of marriage in approximately 12 minutes****.
What if Christians did this while we were singing?
"Create in me a clean heart*, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me**..."
*Except, not really. I kinda like my heart dirty, thanks. I'm just singing along so I don't stand out. You understand.
**Same thing with this one too. Leave my spirit alone please.
"I have decided to follow Jesus*, no turning back**, no turning back***"
*Except when He leads me somewhere that I don't really want to go, in which case, I'll catch up with Him later on.
**I might turn back.
***Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll turn back.
What do we really mean when we say the things we say to God and to others? What if our mental "asterisks" were actually audible and people knew that we weren't being completely honest?
The Bible says that God already knows our hearts. Just because other people don't know our hearts doesn't mean that we should go around being dishonest with them. We will be held accountable for that.
Let me challenge you to give more thought to the things that you say before you say them. I know that I need to do that. God is listening, and He expects us to be truthful and honest with one another.
Small problems can arise when we are honest with each other, but much larger problems can arise when we aren't.
By the way, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging much lately.*****
* No I'm not.
** No. Seriously. I'm not. I don't have it to give, even if I wanted to. Stop trying to get rich off of me.
***Unsure of spelling.
****Not mine, of course, but other people's.
****No I'm not. I told you from the beginning that I wouldn't do a very good job with it. It's kind of your fault for thinking that I could. So check yourself before you wriggity-wreck yourself.
Seriously, I really am.**
Brooke and I took Ava to Sonic for dinner last night (and when I say "dinner", I actually mean "diarrhea") and we noticed something interesting on the menu...
It said, in large letters: "Now serving hand-mixed* shakes."
Did you notice the asterisk beside "hand-mixed"?
I sure did.
It took me a moment to find the line that explained the asterisk, but I finally found it (printed in 2 pt. type at the bottom of the page). I will paraphrase what it said because I had forgotten my telescope and therefore, couldn't read it...
"Not all locations offer hand-mixed shakes."
Well, zippity-doo-da***.
Isn't that convenient for Sonic. Hey Sonic...what about THIS location? How about the one we are currently SITTING at? Do YOU offer hand-mixed shakes, because that's really the only location I'm interested in. I'm not really all that interested in what OTHER people are able to have for dinner.
Which of Sonic's locations offer hand-mixed shakes anyway?
The ones with hands?
What kind of high-dollar, high-tech equipment does Sonic have to ration out to its many locations in order to hand-mix a milkshake anyway?
What does this even mean? Are they sticking their hands in my milkshake now and mixing it around? I'm not sure I want that. And if their hands are too short to reach the bottom of that gigantic Route 44 cup, are they going to use their feet? I need to know this information before I place my order.
I mean, am I supposed to turn to Brooke and say, "Look honey! If we were in a different location, we could have a hand-mixed shake! Let's keep driving until we get lucky!"
By the way, I'm pretty sure they don't have hand-mixed shakes in Northport. Do you want to know why? Because when Brooke got to the middle of her Sonic blast (which I realize isn't a milkshake, but it's awfully close), the toppings suddenly stopped. There were Oreos and then suddenly....there weren't Oreos anymore.
No one who was mixing that by hand would allow that to happen. A machine did that. A mindless, mean-spirited, joyless machine.
What kind of a society are we living in where we can make these outlandish promises to people and then undo them with a simple asterisk?
What if we all started doing this? What kind of chaotic madness would ensue? What if we did this in our marriages and we had to explain our asterisks?
"Honey, I love you*"
"What was that?"
"I said I love you*"
"Yeah, I heard you, but what's with the asterisk?"
"Oh, you heard that?"
"Yeah. I did. What does that mean?"
"Um, it means that I love you...unless you don't get the laundry done today, in which case I plan on being mad at you until bedtime and saying mean things about your mother during dinner."
"You're a jerk*"
"Ok, what did that asterisk mean??"
"It means that the word 'jerk' was substituted for what I really wanted to call you."
"Oh. Never mind then. I'm sorry*. I really do love you.**"
"I heard those too! What did those mean?!"
"Man, I thought those were quieter...Ok, the first one meant, 'No, I'm not', and the second one meant, 'I hope this is still true'."
"Get out."
The asterisk could conceivably single-handedly dismantle the institution of marriage in approximately 12 minutes****.
What if Christians did this while we were singing?
"Create in me a clean heart*, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me**..."
*Except, not really. I kinda like my heart dirty, thanks. I'm just singing along so I don't stand out. You understand.
**Same thing with this one too. Leave my spirit alone please.
"I have decided to follow Jesus*, no turning back**, no turning back***"
*Except when He leads me somewhere that I don't really want to go, in which case, I'll catch up with Him later on.
**I might turn back.
***Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll turn back.
What do we really mean when we say the things we say to God and to others? What if our mental "asterisks" were actually audible and people knew that we weren't being completely honest?
The Bible says that God already knows our hearts. Just because other people don't know our hearts doesn't mean that we should go around being dishonest with them. We will be held accountable for that.
Let me challenge you to give more thought to the things that you say before you say them. I know that I need to do that. God is listening, and He expects us to be truthful and honest with one another.
Small problems can arise when we are honest with each other, but much larger problems can arise when we aren't.
By the way, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging much lately.*****
* No I'm not.
** No. Seriously. I'm not. I don't have it to give, even if I wanted to. Stop trying to get rich off of me.
***Unsure of spelling.
****Not mine, of course, but other people's.
****No I'm not. I told you from the beginning that I wouldn't do a very good job with it. It's kind of your fault for thinking that I could. So check yourself before you wriggity-wreck yourself.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Missing the Mark?
As I was checking out my items at the local Target last week, a man stood behind me with a few items of his own.
I only tell you this next part so that you can get a visual image...the man was an older, very short Chinese man wearing a windbreaker and glasses. He was purchasing three containers of hot chocolate mix.
In case anyone is thinking of accusing me of being racist, allow me to quote Jerry Seinfeld on this issue:
"If I LIKE their race, how can that be racist?"
Anyway...
As the conveyor belt moved forward and transported my items to the front of the line, they also began to move his items forward. His items were at least 2 feet away from mine when the conveyor belt began to move.
Well, the man lurched forward, put both arms over his items and pulled them back towards him as the conveyor belt tried in vain to move them.
...wow.
When I glanced slowly back at him to see who I was dealing with, he avoided my gaze, looked down, and slowly released his hold on his hot chocolate as the conveyor belt stopped.
I thought to myself, "What exactly does this man think is going to happen here?"
Here are some possibilities of what was going through his mind:
- "My hot chocolate is going to be stolen and I am too small and old to fight this tall, strong, handsome man for it."
- "My hot chocolate is about to be stolen, and I fear that I may instinctively use my karate, if provoked. This would be unfortunate."
- "Just because I am old does not mean that I need a conveyor belt to move my hot chocolate. I can do it myself. I will show you in a moment."
- "Oh no. I have left my wallet in the car. Must stop hot chocolate from moving forward."
- "If my hot chocolate touches this man's Blu-Ray, I could go bald."
- "I did not know that there would be a conveyor belt or I would have worn my sneakers...I cannot possibly keep up."
- "I do not like the other people who shop in this store. They are trashy and tall. Why don't they just go to Wal-Mart where they belong."
Was he thinking that I might see his hot chocolate, decide that I wanted some, and just take it from him?
Was he thinking that I might accidentally pay for his hot chocolate and take it home while he was looking at the magazines?
What exactly is the potentially threatening/dangerous scenario that causes people to do this?
Here we are, two grown men, standing at a check-out line...
Instead of assuming that we will be able to clear up any misunderstanding with the cashier concerning mixed up items (by talking with her about which items belong to us and which ones don't), one of us feels the need to put at least 17 feet between my items and his.
What is the worst that could happen in this situation? Let's say that he and I aren't paying attention and she accidentally rang up his items with mine...
Cashier - "That'll be $38.94, sir."
Me - "Oh no."
Chinese Man - "Oh no."
Cashier - "What seems to be the problem, sir?"
Me - "You rang up his items with mine."
[pause, as I exchange frightened, and potentially hostile looks with the Chinese man]
[music plays - from one of those old Clint Eastwood movies where nobody is really speaking English except for Clint]
Cashier - [hysterically, breaking into tears, running in small circles and flailing her arms] "WHAT???WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THE STICKS!!?? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?? I HAVEN'T TRAINED FOR THIS!!! AAAAAHHHH!!! JONAS, PULL THE ALARM, WE'VE GOT MIXED-UP ITEMS!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!! KELLY, CALL SECURITY IN CASE HE TRIES TO ESCAPE WITH THE HOT CHOCOLATE!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!! BARNEY, GET THIS CHINESE MAN OFF OF THIS BALD MAN...I THINK HE'S GOING TO KILL HIM WITH HIS KARATE!!! IF YOU HAD JUST STAYED AT WAL-MART WHERE YOU BELONG NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING!!!"
See? Not very realistic.
Let me say this: I do understand the little sticks that they have. I use those sometimes, but only because there are people at the store who have NO respect for the personal space of my items. They put their stuff RIGHT NEXT to mine and I just can't have that.
This was different, though. I was almost offended by this (not quite, though). I had no evil plans for this man's hot chocolate, but I got the distinct impression that he thought I might.
Sometimes I wonder if we are losing the ability to communicate with people.
On some level, I think that supermarkets, large retail stores, & consumerism in general have created a distance between people that God never intended. We stand right next to people all the time and yet we never speak. We seem more concerned about what we are about to buy than we are about the person standing right behind us.
Jesus saw people. I doubt that He would have ever stood in line anywhere and not talked to the people around Him.
On one occasion, a very large crowd had gathered to see Him and He "saw" Zacchaeus in a tree. Why? Because he was looking for him.
As Christians, I'm not sure if God is concerned with what we buy at Target; but I'm pretty sure He is concerned with the other people around us. Maybe we should start trying to pay more attention to them so that we can be more like Him.
But let's keep the sticks. I like those.
I only tell you this next part so that you can get a visual image...the man was an older, very short Chinese man wearing a windbreaker and glasses. He was purchasing three containers of hot chocolate mix.
In case anyone is thinking of accusing me of being racist, allow me to quote Jerry Seinfeld on this issue:
"If I LIKE their race, how can that be racist?"
Anyway...
As the conveyor belt moved forward and transported my items to the front of the line, they also began to move his items forward. His items were at least 2 feet away from mine when the conveyor belt began to move.
Well, the man lurched forward, put both arms over his items and pulled them back towards him as the conveyor belt tried in vain to move them.
...wow.
When I glanced slowly back at him to see who I was dealing with, he avoided my gaze, looked down, and slowly released his hold on his hot chocolate as the conveyor belt stopped.
I thought to myself, "What exactly does this man think is going to happen here?"
Here are some possibilities of what was going through his mind:
- "My hot chocolate is going to be stolen and I am too small and old to fight this tall, strong, handsome man for it."
- "My hot chocolate is about to be stolen, and I fear that I may instinctively use my karate, if provoked. This would be unfortunate."
- "Just because I am old does not mean that I need a conveyor belt to move my hot chocolate. I can do it myself. I will show you in a moment."
- "Oh no. I have left my wallet in the car. Must stop hot chocolate from moving forward."
- "If my hot chocolate touches this man's Blu-Ray, I could go bald."
- "I did not know that there would be a conveyor belt or I would have worn my sneakers...I cannot possibly keep up."
- "I do not like the other people who shop in this store. They are trashy and tall. Why don't they just go to Wal-Mart where they belong."
Was he thinking that I might see his hot chocolate, decide that I wanted some, and just take it from him?
Was he thinking that I might accidentally pay for his hot chocolate and take it home while he was looking at the magazines?
What exactly is the potentially threatening/dangerous scenario that causes people to do this?
Here we are, two grown men, standing at a check-out line...
Instead of assuming that we will be able to clear up any misunderstanding with the cashier concerning mixed up items (by talking with her about which items belong to us and which ones don't), one of us feels the need to put at least 17 feet between my items and his.
What is the worst that could happen in this situation? Let's say that he and I aren't paying attention and she accidentally rang up his items with mine...
Cashier - "That'll be $38.94, sir."
Me - "Oh no."
Chinese Man - "Oh no."
Cashier - "What seems to be the problem, sir?"
Me - "You rang up his items with mine."
[pause, as I exchange frightened, and potentially hostile looks with the Chinese man]
[music plays - from one of those old Clint Eastwood movies where nobody is really speaking English except for Clint]
Cashier - [hysterically, breaking into tears, running in small circles and flailing her arms] "WHAT???WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THE STICKS!!?? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?? I HAVEN'T TRAINED FOR THIS!!! AAAAAHHHH!!! JONAS, PULL THE ALARM, WE'VE GOT MIXED-UP ITEMS!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!! KELLY, CALL SECURITY IN CASE HE TRIES TO ESCAPE WITH THE HOT CHOCOLATE!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!! BARNEY, GET THIS CHINESE MAN OFF OF THIS BALD MAN...I THINK HE'S GOING TO KILL HIM WITH HIS KARATE!!! IF YOU HAD JUST STAYED AT WAL-MART WHERE YOU BELONG NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING!!!"
See? Not very realistic.
Let me say this: I do understand the little sticks that they have. I use those sometimes, but only because there are people at the store who have NO respect for the personal space of my items. They put their stuff RIGHT NEXT to mine and I just can't have that.
This was different, though. I was almost offended by this (not quite, though). I had no evil plans for this man's hot chocolate, but I got the distinct impression that he thought I might.
Sometimes I wonder if we are losing the ability to communicate with people.
On some level, I think that supermarkets, large retail stores, & consumerism in general have created a distance between people that God never intended. We stand right next to people all the time and yet we never speak. We seem more concerned about what we are about to buy than we are about the person standing right behind us.
Jesus saw people. I doubt that He would have ever stood in line anywhere and not talked to the people around Him.
On one occasion, a very large crowd had gathered to see Him and He "saw" Zacchaeus in a tree. Why? Because he was looking for him.
As Christians, I'm not sure if God is concerned with what we buy at Target; but I'm pretty sure He is concerned with the other people around us. Maybe we should start trying to pay more attention to them so that we can be more like Him.
But let's keep the sticks. I like those.
Monday, May 14, 2012
For My Wife, on our Anniversary...
Seven years ago, I married my wife, Brooke.
It was one of the most amazing days of my life.
As I stood outside the church auditorium in Corsicana, TX, waiting to go into the ceremony, I was very nervous. There were lots of people there, the lights were dimmed, and this was different from anything else I had ever done in that auditorium.
I had preached in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had led singing in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had performed VBS skits in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had shot Nerf Guns at teenagers in there and...well, no...I wasn't nervous about that.
But I was nervous about this.
Ferman (our preacher, friend, and the man who performed our wedding) had suggested that I keep a few Kleenex in my pocket in case Brooke began to cry. I had a whole pack of them, ready to go.
I don't remember the exact order of things that day, and I don't remember everything that was said, but I do remember seeing Brooke come through the back doors and walking down that aisle.
She was breathtakingly beautiful.
She was smiling as big as I had ever seen her smile and she radiated a glow that was visible to everyone, especially me. She could have taken thirty minutes to walk down that aisle and I wouldn't have rushed her. I would have watched her for every second.
As it turns out, I did need the Kleenex. But not for her.
I believe I had to blow my nose two or three times during that ceremony. And these weren't "polite" nose-blowings. These were "honks". I'm glad that she didn't cry much, because I'm not sure I could have spared a Kleenex.
Vows were made.
Songs were sung.
Candles were lit.
Noses were blown.
Two became one that day in a mysterious and beautiful way that only God can truly understand.
As we walked down that aisle together after our first kiss as man and wife, we were simply overjoyed. I think I could have flown out of that auditorium.
There are lots of things that happened that day that were kind of a blur. I remember bits and pieces of them as I look back and think about that day. I remember different people being there and smiling with them, hugging them, and appreciating them being there.
Most of it was a blur.
But there is one thing that isn't blurry...
That was the day that I married the woman I loved.
That was the day that I married the woman who I intend to love for the rest of my life.
Other than the day I became a Christian, that was the greatest day of my life.
After seven years with Brooke, there is no "itch". There is no desire whatsoever to be with anyone but her. She is still my best friend and the woman of my dreams. I am just as excited to go on a date with her tonight as I was when we first met.
She still makes me laugh. She is still my best friend. She is still breathtakingly beautiful. And there are moments when I look at her and still need Kleenex.
I love you, Brooke, and I always will.
Happy Anniversary:)
It was one of the most amazing days of my life.
As I stood outside the church auditorium in Corsicana, TX, waiting to go into the ceremony, I was very nervous. There were lots of people there, the lights were dimmed, and this was different from anything else I had ever done in that auditorium.
I had preached in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had led singing in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had performed VBS skits in there and had been nervous...but not this nervous.
I had shot Nerf Guns at teenagers in there and...well, no...I wasn't nervous about that.
But I was nervous about this.
Ferman (our preacher, friend, and the man who performed our wedding) had suggested that I keep a few Kleenex in my pocket in case Brooke began to cry. I had a whole pack of them, ready to go.
I don't remember the exact order of things that day, and I don't remember everything that was said, but I do remember seeing Brooke come through the back doors and walking down that aisle.
She was breathtakingly beautiful.
She was smiling as big as I had ever seen her smile and she radiated a glow that was visible to everyone, especially me. She could have taken thirty minutes to walk down that aisle and I wouldn't have rushed her. I would have watched her for every second.
As it turns out, I did need the Kleenex. But not for her.
I believe I had to blow my nose two or three times during that ceremony. And these weren't "polite" nose-blowings. These were "honks". I'm glad that she didn't cry much, because I'm not sure I could have spared a Kleenex.
Vows were made.
Songs were sung.
Candles were lit.
Noses were blown.
Two became one that day in a mysterious and beautiful way that only God can truly understand.
As we walked down that aisle together after our first kiss as man and wife, we were simply overjoyed. I think I could have flown out of that auditorium.
There are lots of things that happened that day that were kind of a blur. I remember bits and pieces of them as I look back and think about that day. I remember different people being there and smiling with them, hugging them, and appreciating them being there.
Most of it was a blur.
But there is one thing that isn't blurry...
That was the day that I married the woman I loved.
That was the day that I married the woman who I intend to love for the rest of my life.
Other than the day I became a Christian, that was the greatest day of my life.
After seven years with Brooke, there is no "itch". There is no desire whatsoever to be with anyone but her. She is still my best friend and the woman of my dreams. I am just as excited to go on a date with her tonight as I was when we first met.
She still makes me laugh. She is still my best friend. She is still breathtakingly beautiful. And there are moments when I look at her and still need Kleenex.
I love you, Brooke, and I always will.
Happy Anniversary:)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
To My Mom on Mother's Day
For changing diapers, wiping noses
Cooking meals, and teaching Moses
For haircuts, clothes, piano lessons
Cleaning up our daily messes
For Photon guns and new Nintendos
Vacuuming and cleaning windows
For scoldings, groundings, even whippings
All those "buds"....and all those "nippings"
For hugs and smiles and always caring
Cakes and pies and always sharing
For Bible verses every morning
All those annual tree-adornings
For trips and times with family
To see the things we'd never seen
For birthdays and for singing songs
For praising rights, and righting wrongs
For never giving up on me
And seeing things no one could see
For having faith and loving God
For loving Brent, and Shane and Todd
For daytime snacks and Perry Mason
Egg milkshakes and never wasting
For swimming trips when it got hotter
And handmade dresses for my daughters
For being Mom and Nana too
For loving me and being you
For all these things and much, much more
And all I've never thanked you for...
Thank you Mom
I love you
Happy Mother's Day
Cooking meals, and teaching Moses
For haircuts, clothes, piano lessons
Cleaning up our daily messes
For Photon guns and new Nintendos
Vacuuming and cleaning windows
For scoldings, groundings, even whippings
All those "buds"....and all those "nippings"
For hugs and smiles and always caring
Cakes and pies and always sharing
For Bible verses every morning
All those annual tree-adornings
For trips and times with family
To see the things we'd never seen
For birthdays and for singing songs
For praising rights, and righting wrongs
For never giving up on me
And seeing things no one could see
For having faith and loving God
For loving Brent, and Shane and Todd
For daytime snacks and Perry Mason
Egg milkshakes and never wasting
For swimming trips when it got hotter
And handmade dresses for my daughters
For being Mom and Nana too
For loving me and being you
For all these things and much, much more
And all I've never thanked you for...
Thank you Mom
I love you
Happy Mother's Day
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Loosely Associated?
During the coming attractions for the Avengers, they showed a preview for the upcoming movie, "Battleship". The opening tagline was...
"From Hasbro: the company who brought you 'Transformers'"
Wow.
I actually laughed out loud.
What's next?
"From the people who had lunch with the producers of movies like 'Avatar'..."
"From the people who wish they had made 'The Dark Knight'..."
"From the second cousin, twice removed of the guy who did the craft services on 'Field of Dreams'..."
Let me say this: Battleship might be a good movie (you'll have to tell me about it because I won't see it), but that tagline is massively ridiculous.
Hasbro???
Hasbro is a toy company, last time I looked. They make toys.
Let me be clear. I like toys.
But...
How can Hasbro claim any credit for the Transformers movie? Other than selling the rights to it, I can't imagine that they had anything to do with actually making that movie.
If I'm wrong, it wouldn't be the first time...
And if Battleship is anything like the game that I grew up playing, it certainly won't be very exciting. It will be long, frustrating, and we will constantly be wondering if the other people in the theater are somehow cheating.
"Did you smuggle those Skittles in here?"
"Um. No."
"I think you did. I saw you pull them out of your cargo pants."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did. I was looking right at you when you did it. At first, I thought you had a tumor on the side of your leg, until I heard the rattling. And besides, they don't even SELL a one pound bag of Skittles at the movie theater!!"
"...Are you gonna tell on me?"
"I might."
"Please don't.....do you want some?"
"[disgusted] Do I want some??? Why, the nerve!! [looks around, cautiously].....Yes, please."
We might even walk out before it's over because it may seem like it is simply too much work.
At best, it will be hit and miss (pretend you heard a rim shot).
Why do people take credit for successful things that they had very little to do with, especially when they DON'T take credit for their mistakes?
Interestingly, the tagline for Battleship wasn't, "From Hasbro: The company who brought you the 'Care Bears' movie".
I have a feeling that some people are behaving this way, spiritually.
I know that I have in the past.
They take credit for being part of the Lord's Church, even though they really aren't functioning as part of it (and they certainly aren't taking the credit for the damage they've done to it by not actually living the Christian life).
They are connected to the Church somehow.
They are loosely associated with it to some degree.
But they don't function. They don't participate. They aren't engaged.
As we study our New Testament, being part of the Church is more than showing up a few times a week, sitting in a pew, plunking down a few dollars in the plate, and "joining the club".
It is active, daily involvement. It is sacrifice. It is relationships. It is commitment beyond the walls of an air-conditioned building.
The difference between what Hasbro did and what the makers of the movie "Transformers" did was this:
- The makers of the "Transformers" movie made it "real".
- Hasbro made toys...and then they took credit for making something real.
Instead of feeling satisfied with ourselves for being able to answer the question, "Where do you go to church?" (as if that is what our faith is supposed to be boiled down to), maybe we should ask ourselves a more difficult question: "Am I a functioning part of the Lord's Church?"
If someone were to ask my right eyeball, "What do you do for Jeremy?", it would have an answer...because it has a function, and it performs that function on a regular basis. The same would be true for any other part of my body (although I'd be very interested in what my left ear lobe would have to say...).
On Judgment Day, we won't be judged by our loose association with a group of people who met in a building three times a week; we will be judged by whether or not we died to ourselves, lived for Christ, and functioned as part of His body.
So, from the guy who brought you the blog that referred to the movie "Transformers", let's all make sure we're plugged in and working!
[DISCLAIMER: I realize the limits of this analogy. I ain't hatin' on Hasbro. I love their toys]
"From Hasbro: the company who brought you 'Transformers'"
Wow.
I actually laughed out loud.
What's next?
"From the people who had lunch with the producers of movies like 'Avatar'..."
"From the people who wish they had made 'The Dark Knight'..."
"From the second cousin, twice removed of the guy who did the craft services on 'Field of Dreams'..."
Let me say this: Battleship might be a good movie (you'll have to tell me about it because I won't see it), but that tagline is massively ridiculous.
Hasbro???
Hasbro is a toy company, last time I looked. They make toys.
Let me be clear. I like toys.
But...
How can Hasbro claim any credit for the Transformers movie? Other than selling the rights to it, I can't imagine that they had anything to do with actually making that movie.
If I'm wrong, it wouldn't be the first time...
And if Battleship is anything like the game that I grew up playing, it certainly won't be very exciting. It will be long, frustrating, and we will constantly be wondering if the other people in the theater are somehow cheating.
"Did you smuggle those Skittles in here?"
"Um. No."
"I think you did. I saw you pull them out of your cargo pants."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did. I was looking right at you when you did it. At first, I thought you had a tumor on the side of your leg, until I heard the rattling. And besides, they don't even SELL a one pound bag of Skittles at the movie theater!!"
"...Are you gonna tell on me?"
"I might."
"Please don't.....do you want some?"
"[disgusted] Do I want some??? Why, the nerve!! [looks around, cautiously].....Yes, please."
We might even walk out before it's over because it may seem like it is simply too much work.
At best, it will be hit and miss (pretend you heard a rim shot).
Why do people take credit for successful things that they had very little to do with, especially when they DON'T take credit for their mistakes?
Interestingly, the tagline for Battleship wasn't, "From Hasbro: The company who brought you the 'Care Bears' movie".
I have a feeling that some people are behaving this way, spiritually.
I know that I have in the past.
They take credit for being part of the Lord's Church, even though they really aren't functioning as part of it (and they certainly aren't taking the credit for the damage they've done to it by not actually living the Christian life).
They are connected to the Church somehow.
They are loosely associated with it to some degree.
But they don't function. They don't participate. They aren't engaged.
As we study our New Testament, being part of the Church is more than showing up a few times a week, sitting in a pew, plunking down a few dollars in the plate, and "joining the club".
It is active, daily involvement. It is sacrifice. It is relationships. It is commitment beyond the walls of an air-conditioned building.
The difference between what Hasbro did and what the makers of the movie "Transformers" did was this:
- The makers of the "Transformers" movie made it "real".
- Hasbro made toys...and then they took credit for making something real.
Instead of feeling satisfied with ourselves for being able to answer the question, "Where do you go to church?" (as if that is what our faith is supposed to be boiled down to), maybe we should ask ourselves a more difficult question: "Am I a functioning part of the Lord's Church?"
If someone were to ask my right eyeball, "What do you do for Jeremy?", it would have an answer...because it has a function, and it performs that function on a regular basis. The same would be true for any other part of my body (although I'd be very interested in what my left ear lobe would have to say...).
On Judgment Day, we won't be judged by our loose association with a group of people who met in a building three times a week; we will be judged by whether or not we died to ourselves, lived for Christ, and functioned as part of His body.
So, from the guy who brought you the blog that referred to the movie "Transformers", let's all make sure we're plugged in and working!
[DISCLAIMER: I realize the limits of this analogy. I ain't hatin' on Hasbro. I love their toys]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)