In This Place

Today, I'd like to share a poem that I have written. I wrote this because I want to honestly communicate some of my struggles, as a follower of Christ who lives in a very sinful world. 

I share this with you because I know that I'm not alone, and maybe it will help you realize the same thing. 

In This Place

There are times when it corrupts 
And when You're speaking, interrupts
And drowns out every ray of light that tries to shine

There are moments of distress
That put foundations to the test
And threaten everything I've built that's truly mine

It chokes and strangles when I'm down
And kicks and screams when You're around
Then tries to tell me that it's really on my side

It claims to love me, sympathize
When all my words are silent cries
But never offering a place for me to hide

I'm at home, but always wandering
Never quite sure, always pondering
Is this really all I am, or is there more?

With a love-hate never ending
Poor in spirit, over-spending
And a nagging, daily whisper: what's this for?

In this place I've always known
I'm a stranger, I'm alone
I'm surrounded, but invisible by choice

In this place I can't escape
Those surfaces that can't be scraped
The sound is deafening, but I can't hear a voice

Then I muster strength and will
From some place deep, and calm, and still
And find a hope that goes untouched by all this war

I crawl inside, He pulls me out
I bring my sadness and my doubt
And find a peace that can't be shaken by the roar

Questions answered, hearts unbroken
Words are heard, though poorly spoken
In this place I'm always welcomed as myself

My truest home, I just forget
That I've run far away from it
Amidst the anger and the misplaced calls for help

In this place I find my bearing
When I've grown cold and I'm wearing
When the truth is buried 'neath my smiling face

You'll be there for me to find You
I will try to stay behind You
As You lead me, love me, hold me in this place