If you didn't read my last post, you might want to read it before continuing with this one...
Go ahead, I'll wait.
I went into my office today to try and finish up some artwork that I have been working on all weekend and found a little surprise waiting for me.
Taped to my office door were several gold stars and some Q-tips.
[Seriously, if you haven't read the last post, this won't make any sense...this is your last chance]
I thought to myself, "Isn't that cute. Someone reads my blog and they thought they'd play a little prank on me. How thoughtful."
Then I opened my door.
It looked like a Q-tip bomb had exploded in my office. Not a Q-tip grenade, or a Q-tip land mine...a Q-tip bomb.
Q-tips were EVERYWHERE. They covered the floor, they were on my desk, in my chair, on my computer, in my drawers (not my underwear, my desk drawers...nobody is THAT sneaky), and even on my bookshelves.
There was even a plastic trash can on my desk with gold stars glued to the inside of it.
I immediately checked with the two ladies who were currently at the building to see if they were involved. They weren't.
They sure did laugh, though. I will remember that, ladies.
So I called Brooke [my wife]. She laughed and said that it was a couple of friends of ours [who shall remain nameless and shall be henceforth referred to only as "Alan" and "Cindy"...for their protection] and that they had done it yesterday.
Come to find out, they had deposited exactly 1875 Q-tips at various locations in my office.
Did I have this coming? Does Galatians 6:7 apply to me in this case? Am I an insensitive husband who was just "cruisin' for a Q-tippin'"?
Does it really matter?
No.
Brooke has been avenged - if anyone out there felt bad for her - but I would like to make a point here:
I believe that there is a double standard at work here.
Oh yes.
A big fat one.
See, if Brooke had blogged about ME missing the trash can with MY Q-tips, and I had given HER a sarcastic answer when she called ME on it, this would have gone very differently.
Because when a wife blogs about her husband doing stuff like that, she gets responses like:
"You ain't got to take that from no MAN!"
"Oh no he didn't!"
"You need to kick that man to the curb, girlfriend!"
"My husband does the same thing and I shot him straight-up in the face! You wanna borrow my gun, girl?"
Yes. You know I'm right.
And if she had blogged about that, you know what would have happened next?
That's right...
I STILL would have gotten Q-tipped!!!
Because when a husband blogs about his wife (even with her permission...which I didn't actually have, but I'm sure I could've gotten), he is automatically in the wrong.
It wouldn't have mattered if I had blogged about Brooke poisoning a small child for fun, someone would have said, "Jeremy, you really shouldn't talk about your wife like that. I'm sure that kid had it coming."
So you see, I just can't win.
Whatta world.
For the record, Brooke was never upset about my last blog. We have established an understanding on these matters:
1. I get to blog about her, within reason. And if I ever cross the line and actually upset her with a blog post...
2. She is going to kill me.
It seems to be working out so far.
By the way, this is also an open invitation to anyone in the Tuscaloosa area who needs their ears cleaned for the next 18 months.
We got you covered.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
She Shoots...She Misses...Again.
My wife threw a Q-tip at the garbage can in our bathroom this morning as I was on my way out. The garbage can is small and it is on the other side of the toilet (if you're trying to get a mental picture of our bathroom).
She missed. I saw it.
Well, let me be more specific: the trash can was so full that the Q-tip simply bounced off of the existing trash and onto the floor.
She acted like this was a surprise and said something like, "Man, I thought I made that shot". Then she shrugged her shoulders and walked away, leaving the Q-tip on the floor. I thought nothing of it at the time.
That is, until she asked me to empty the trash in the bathroom before I left for work. You see, she is very pregnant and can't really lift the trash, so I try to take it out on Mondays and Thursdays (because I'm incredibly strong...and not pregnant).
Anyway, as I lifted the trash can, I saw approximately 20 Q-tips on the floor (this is not an exaggeration, by the way).
Now, let me make something clear: I use Q-tips as well, but I'm pretty OCD about them and I PLACE them into the trash can when I'm finished with them (they were good enough to go into the deepest caverns of my ear and dig out my nasty wax...the least I can do is give them a proper burial). My wife, evidentally, has simply been chunking them in the general vicinity of the trash can and then shrugging her shoulders and walking off as they tumble to the floor in disgrace.
Do you know WHY she might be doing this? I believe that I do. It's because she knows that I'm the one (9 times out of 10, at least) who will be emptying that trash can.
So I called her on it this morning. Why? Because I like to start my day with a good ol' fashioned fight with my wife. I mean, who doesn't? It makes the rest of the day so much better.
So I took the trash into the kitchen - where she was sitting at the kitchen table - and told her how many Q-tips I had found on the floor.
I at least expected her to be ashamed.
She showed no remorse.
She was completely unaffected by the high Q-tip count (and presumably has no problem with 40 small deposits of ear wax on our bathroom floor either).
In fact, she began to heap on the sarcasm. She raised her eyebrows, nodded her head, and said something along the lines of:
"Really? 20? You counted them? Good for you. You can count to 20. Gold star for Jeremy for knowing how to count."
So I took a deep breath, nodded, took out the trash, ate my Nutri-Grain bar, kissed her on the cheek, told her I loved her, and went to work...but not before telling her that she had most likely inspired today's blog post. She didn't seem to care about that either.
What is the point of this story? Well, first of all, it reveals a side of my wife that few get to see, that I think they should see (the Q-tip-chuckin', shoulder-shruggin', sarcasm-heapin', gold star-promisin' side of her).
Secondly, though, it brings up a good point about sin.
Sometimes, we mess up, don't we? We try to do the right thing and we just don't, for whatever reason. Or we don't do something we should have done. We miss the mark. All of us. All the time.
I believe that God can handle that. He knows that we will do that. He will forgive us of those sins if we will admit them and do our best to turn from them (I John 1:5-10).
Then there's the other kind of sin. The "20 Q-tips on the floor & don't care about it" kind of sinning. We can get into the habit or practice of sinning, can't we? We miss the mark, we know we missed the mark, and we plan on continuing to miss the mark. Why? I'm not sure, but maybe because we mistakenly think that "God will clean that up".
The Bible says that he won't. Read I John 3:4-10, Hebrews 10:26-27, and Romans 6:1-2 (among others).
We need to be more careful about habitual sin, don't we? God has told us plainly what this kind of sin does to our relationship with Him. It separates us from Him. I don't think that any of us want that.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear, though: I will forgive my wife for chunking 20 Q-tips onto the floor, because I love her...
...after I get my gold star.
She missed. I saw it.
Well, let me be more specific: the trash can was so full that the Q-tip simply bounced off of the existing trash and onto the floor.
She acted like this was a surprise and said something like, "Man, I thought I made that shot". Then she shrugged her shoulders and walked away, leaving the Q-tip on the floor. I thought nothing of it at the time.
That is, until she asked me to empty the trash in the bathroom before I left for work. You see, she is very pregnant and can't really lift the trash, so I try to take it out on Mondays and Thursdays (because I'm incredibly strong...and not pregnant).
Anyway, as I lifted the trash can, I saw approximately 20 Q-tips on the floor (this is not an exaggeration, by the way).
Now, let me make something clear: I use Q-tips as well, but I'm pretty OCD about them and I PLACE them into the trash can when I'm finished with them (they were good enough to go into the deepest caverns of my ear and dig out my nasty wax...the least I can do is give them a proper burial). My wife, evidentally, has simply been chunking them in the general vicinity of the trash can and then shrugging her shoulders and walking off as they tumble to the floor in disgrace.
Do you know WHY she might be doing this? I believe that I do. It's because she knows that I'm the one (9 times out of 10, at least) who will be emptying that trash can.
So I called her on it this morning. Why? Because I like to start my day with a good ol' fashioned fight with my wife. I mean, who doesn't? It makes the rest of the day so much better.
So I took the trash into the kitchen - where she was sitting at the kitchen table - and told her how many Q-tips I had found on the floor.
I at least expected her to be ashamed.
She showed no remorse.
She was completely unaffected by the high Q-tip count (and presumably has no problem with 40 small deposits of ear wax on our bathroom floor either).
In fact, she began to heap on the sarcasm. She raised her eyebrows, nodded her head, and said something along the lines of:
"Really? 20? You counted them? Good for you. You can count to 20. Gold star for Jeremy for knowing how to count."
So I took a deep breath, nodded, took out the trash, ate my Nutri-Grain bar, kissed her on the cheek, told her I loved her, and went to work...but not before telling her that she had most likely inspired today's blog post. She didn't seem to care about that either.
What is the point of this story? Well, first of all, it reveals a side of my wife that few get to see, that I think they should see (the Q-tip-chuckin', shoulder-shruggin', sarcasm-heapin', gold star-promisin' side of her).
Secondly, though, it brings up a good point about sin.
Sometimes, we mess up, don't we? We try to do the right thing and we just don't, for whatever reason. Or we don't do something we should have done. We miss the mark. All of us. All the time.
I believe that God can handle that. He knows that we will do that. He will forgive us of those sins if we will admit them and do our best to turn from them (I John 1:5-10).
Then there's the other kind of sin. The "20 Q-tips on the floor & don't care about it" kind of sinning. We can get into the habit or practice of sinning, can't we? We miss the mark, we know we missed the mark, and we plan on continuing to miss the mark. Why? I'm not sure, but maybe because we mistakenly think that "God will clean that up".
The Bible says that he won't. Read I John 3:4-10, Hebrews 10:26-27, and Romans 6:1-2 (among others).
We need to be more careful about habitual sin, don't we? God has told us plainly what this kind of sin does to our relationship with Him. It separates us from Him. I don't think that any of us want that.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear, though: I will forgive my wife for chunking 20 Q-tips onto the floor, because I love her...
...after I get my gold star.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
How About a Delicious Beverage?
I like chocolate milk.
There are several brands/kinds of pre-made chocolate milk that are pretty good (NesQuick is my personal favorite. I like that rabbit.), but there is nothing as good as making your own.
The recipe is quite simple:
- 1 glass of whole milk (2% is acceptable...I guess...but anything less than that...I mean, come on...if you can't drink REAL milk, you probably don't need to drink CHOCOLATE milk...sissy.)
- 1 bottle/container/tub of chocolate sauce/powder/syrup (I usually use Hershey's, but I have used NesQuick, Ovaltine, and others as well. This recipe will proceed with a bottle of Hershey's as the example)
- Place glass of milk on hard surface and hold bottle of Hershey's syrup with:
- 1 hand & be prepared to stir with the other as you squeeze OR...
- 2 hands, for maximum squeezing power & you can stir later
[Personally, I like to watch the milk turn chocolate all at once - I feel like a low-level magician - so I squeeze with both hands. The time that you save by doing the two-handed squeeze more than makes up for the fact that you haven't stirred yet; this is simply my opinion and not chocolate milk doctrine]
- Squeeze syrup into milk & stir until you reach the desired level of chocolate infiltration (you want the milk to do a "reverse Michael Jackson", if that helps).
- Take a sip (not a gulp, mind you, because if you haven't made it chocolatey enough, you have gulped down a big waste of some potentially good chocolate milk)
- Add syrup, as needed.
My wife made a glass this morning and I seriously thought that she had left the milk out and had just used syrup. It was the darkest glass of chocolate milk I have ever seen.
My wife don't play around when it comes to chocolate milk. She just don't.
Granted, she used Hershey's Special Dark syrup, but regardless...I seriously doubt that we will get more than a "wheeze & a sputter" out of that bottle next time we try to use it.
You can believe that she enjoyed that chocolate milk, though. She didn't really need to do the "Pre-gulp Sip" that we talked about earlier. That milk was definitely chocolate.
Technically, I suppose that a person could put just a drop of Hershey's syrup into their milk and call it "chocolate milk", but why would you do such a thing?
Why would you settle for a DROP of chocolate syrup when two INCHES of it makes it so much better?
Why would you even bother making chocolate milk if you don't want it to taste like chocolate? Here are some possibilities:
1. You are being pressured by others to drink chocolate milk, although you would rather not.
2. Your entire family drinks chocolate milk and, at family gatherings, they bring huge tubs of Hershey's syrup and look at you funny if you don't join in.
3. You have heard that chocolate milk is really good, but you're afraid to go "all in", so you're just dabbling in it.
4. You are tired of people asking you "Do you drink chocolate milk?", because when you answer "No", they always say, "Oh, you've GOT to try it! Come on over to my house and I'll make you the absolute best glass of chocolate milk you've ever had! Get in the car!" So you have given in...but not wholeheartedly.
Let's make an application:
How much Jesus do you put into your life?
How much of His teachings, His example, His Word, and His mind have we put into our lives? Our answer will tell us the reason why we even bother with Him at all.
Do we just want a little "drop" of Jesus, so that we can call ourselves a "Christian"? So that we can fit in with other "Christians"? So that we can say that we have Jesus without having Him really affect our lives? So that we can ease our conscience a bit and not be as afraid of eternity? So that we can experience a taste of God, but no more?
Let me encourage you - metaphorically - to grab onto Jesus with both hands and "squeeze" Him into your life. If we want to experience the abundant life that He has promised, there is no substitute for having Him "infiltrate" our lives...in large amounts.
In fact, if we DON'T give Jesus everything; if we DON'T die to our own desires and live for Him; if we don't have a "glass of milk" that has visibly "changed colors"...we really shouldn't call ourselves "Christians", should we?
In the Bible, they called people "Christians" who were actually following Jesus. They were His disciples. They wouldn't settle for a "drop". They wanted to drain the bottle.
No analogy is perfect, but maybe you get the point of this one:)
So pour, squeeze, stir...squeeze again...and enjoy!
[And by the way, no offense meant to Michael Jackson. I have all his albums.]
There are several brands/kinds of pre-made chocolate milk that are pretty good (NesQuick is my personal favorite. I like that rabbit.), but there is nothing as good as making your own.
The recipe is quite simple:
- 1 glass of whole milk (2% is acceptable...I guess...but anything less than that...I mean, come on...if you can't drink REAL milk, you probably don't need to drink CHOCOLATE milk...sissy.)
- 1 bottle/container/tub of chocolate sauce/powder/syrup (I usually use Hershey's, but I have used NesQuick, Ovaltine, and others as well. This recipe will proceed with a bottle of Hershey's as the example)
- Place glass of milk on hard surface and hold bottle of Hershey's syrup with:
- 1 hand & be prepared to stir with the other as you squeeze OR...
- 2 hands, for maximum squeezing power & you can stir later
[Personally, I like to watch the milk turn chocolate all at once - I feel like a low-level magician - so I squeeze with both hands. The time that you save by doing the two-handed squeeze more than makes up for the fact that you haven't stirred yet; this is simply my opinion and not chocolate milk doctrine]
- Squeeze syrup into milk & stir until you reach the desired level of chocolate infiltration (you want the milk to do a "reverse Michael Jackson", if that helps).
- Take a sip (not a gulp, mind you, because if you haven't made it chocolatey enough, you have gulped down a big waste of some potentially good chocolate milk)
- Add syrup, as needed.
My wife made a glass this morning and I seriously thought that she had left the milk out and had just used syrup. It was the darkest glass of chocolate milk I have ever seen.
My wife don't play around when it comes to chocolate milk. She just don't.
Granted, she used Hershey's Special Dark syrup, but regardless...I seriously doubt that we will get more than a "wheeze & a sputter" out of that bottle next time we try to use it.
You can believe that she enjoyed that chocolate milk, though. She didn't really need to do the "Pre-gulp Sip" that we talked about earlier. That milk was definitely chocolate.
Technically, I suppose that a person could put just a drop of Hershey's syrup into their milk and call it "chocolate milk", but why would you do such a thing?
Why would you settle for a DROP of chocolate syrup when two INCHES of it makes it so much better?
Why would you even bother making chocolate milk if you don't want it to taste like chocolate? Here are some possibilities:
1. You are being pressured by others to drink chocolate milk, although you would rather not.
2. Your entire family drinks chocolate milk and, at family gatherings, they bring huge tubs of Hershey's syrup and look at you funny if you don't join in.
3. You have heard that chocolate milk is really good, but you're afraid to go "all in", so you're just dabbling in it.
4. You are tired of people asking you "Do you drink chocolate milk?", because when you answer "No", they always say, "Oh, you've GOT to try it! Come on over to my house and I'll make you the absolute best glass of chocolate milk you've ever had! Get in the car!" So you have given in...but not wholeheartedly.
Let's make an application:
How much Jesus do you put into your life?
How much of His teachings, His example, His Word, and His mind have we put into our lives? Our answer will tell us the reason why we even bother with Him at all.
Do we just want a little "drop" of Jesus, so that we can call ourselves a "Christian"? So that we can fit in with other "Christians"? So that we can say that we have Jesus without having Him really affect our lives? So that we can ease our conscience a bit and not be as afraid of eternity? So that we can experience a taste of God, but no more?
Let me encourage you - metaphorically - to grab onto Jesus with both hands and "squeeze" Him into your life. If we want to experience the abundant life that He has promised, there is no substitute for having Him "infiltrate" our lives...in large amounts.
In fact, if we DON'T give Jesus everything; if we DON'T die to our own desires and live for Him; if we don't have a "glass of milk" that has visibly "changed colors"...we really shouldn't call ourselves "Christians", should we?
In the Bible, they called people "Christians" who were actually following Jesus. They were His disciples. They wouldn't settle for a "drop". They wanted to drain the bottle.
No analogy is perfect, but maybe you get the point of this one:)
So pour, squeeze, stir...squeeze again...and enjoy!
[And by the way, no offense meant to Michael Jackson. I have all his albums.]
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Well, It's Prom Season Again...
DISCLAIMER: I have no desire to enter into a debate/argument/heated discussion about this issue. If you disagree with the contents of this blog (which I'm sure you can anticipate already), please feel free to discontinue reading now...you won't hurt my feelings...
Let me start with a question:
How many of you would go skydiving?
Your answer (whether you like it or not) reveals a bit about your personality. You are either somewhat of a risk-taker or you prefer to play it safe.
Or your wife has told you that you can't go.
Neither one of these personality traits is inherently bad or wrong, but they are very different, aren't they?
Let's add something to this scenario, though...
What if you really wanted to go skydiving (you’ve already paid for it, you’ve cleared your schedule at work, you’ve asked your parents, wife, etc.), but you found out one or more of the following pieces of information:
o The pilot is drunk (not "tipsy" or "buzzed", but "hammered")
o The gas gauge is broken on the plane
o Your parachute has been packed improperly
o They’re replacing your parachute with a large umbrella (made of lace)
Would it matter WHEN you found out this information? Unless you had already jumped out of the plane, would it matter who you inconvenienced (pilot, crew, co-skydivers, your bank account, etc.) by canceling your skydiving appointment? Why? Because your LIFE is a bit more important than this experience, right?
There are those who are “brave” enough to go skydiving, but you’d have to be a very special combination of brave, stubborn, risky and just plain dumb to do it AFTER you found out any of this information, right?
Prom is upon us. I've seen the limos, dresses, tuxes, and stress-related zits, so I know it's here. It carries with it its own particular set of attractions and risks.
It isn't hard to figure out why young people WANT to go to Prom, is it? To summarize (in my opinion, obviously)...
1. Girls like getting dressed up.
2. Boys like girls.
3. That's it.
We would all love to pretend that Prom is no big deal. We would all love to sanitize it and say that it is just "good, clean fun". I'm all for good, clean fun....but I'm afraid that we would all be very wrong about that when it comes to Prom.
The fact of the matter is that Prom involves significant spiritual risks (which are not the only kinds of risks involved, but they're the only kind I'll focus on here).
Should the child of God have a different view, not only of Prom, but of everything? Take a look (on your own time) at Eph. 4:22-24; I Peter 1:13-19; Romans 12:1-2; Ephesians 5:1-17; I Thess. 5:21-22
Based on the above-mentioned verses (and the modern Prom experience), how would you describe the proper approach of the Christian to his/her life (which I believe would include Prom)?
Now, before you get up-in-arms at the uptight, out-of-touch minister, let's ask another question:
Are we PICKING on Prom?
I mean, come on. Let’s be honest, in the grand scheme of things, Prom is one night...it's one decision, right? I mean, could one night really make that much difference? Hmmmm. Why not ask:
- David & Bathsheba (1 night = adultery, unplanned pregnancy, deceit, murder, & a dead child)
- Samson (1 night = betrayal, end of a relationship, unwanted buzz cut, eyes gouged out, & a new job....in jail)
- Judas (1 night = wrong crowd, kissing [not in a good way], betrayal, regret, a rope, a tree & an eternity to think about it)
Ultimately (on some level), whether or not someone decides to go to Prom (and WHY) is no more important than 1,000 other decisions they make this year, but let's not try to take the sin out of Prom; it’s impossible.
- When girls dress in beautiful, tight-fitting clothing (which almost always reveals parts of their bodies that no one has seen yet)....
- When they fix their hair & make-up like a model or movie star....
- When they dance in close proximity to a teenage boy....
Believe me when I tell you (from personal experience)....Satan is there. Sin is "crouching at the door". If you don't think so, ask any honest male. He will tell you the truth.
Sometimes young people (even parents) say, "We only get to do this twice in our lifetime; it's special; it's a rite of passage; etc."
Let me respond, to those who would call themselves Christians: You only get two chances in your lifetime to make the right decision about Prom. Make sure that you try to do that.
If only there was a once-in-a-lifetime event that young people could look forward to where they could dress up really nice, get into a limo, go to a beautiful event focused only on them, eat good food, and spend time with a special someone....
Oh, that's right. There is. Their wedding.
If we were a little more concerned about not ruining THAT event, we might be more careful about events that have the potential to do just that.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Happy Birth/Tax Day...
Today is my wife's birthday.
We celebrated yesterday by having some pictures taken at the Botanical Gardens and then having dinner at P.F. Chang's; and although Ava has had better days, Brooke and I really enjoyed it.
Brooke has the misfortune of having her birthday fall on April 15....tax day.
Tax day is not necessarily the best day to be born. It's different from being born on Christmas or New Year's, which are associated with pleasant things like peppermint and confetti. If your birthday is on/near a holiday (or even a regular day), most people are in the mood to celebrate with you.
Tax day is different.
For her entire life, I'm sure Brooke has had these conversations on her birthday:
"Hey, it's my birthday!"
"Congratulations. I owe the government $4000.00."
"I'm sorry. Would you like some cake?"
"Yes."
[not many people turn down a piece of cake, no matter what day it is.]
Before we were married, I have to confess that I would procrastinate getting my taxes done almost up until the very last moment. I had no reason to finish them early. So for me, April 15th loomed like a old, angry woman with a smoker's cough, breathing down my neck. I even had to file for an extension several times, making April 15th an old, angry woman with a smoker's cough, breathing down my neck...who could die any moment; which made her just plain surly.
After our marriage, however, I really wanted to be in the frame of mind to celebrate the birth of my wife without Aunt Marlboro (yes, we had pet names for each other), so I began taking care of my taxes early. This was difficult for me since I had never really done it, but it made Brooke's birthday more special and less tax-related.
I did our taxes this year in February. We had our refund in March. And even though we celebrated last night with the last few dollars of that refund, we celebrated without thinking about taxes a single time.
How many important things do we miss - if only in our hearts - because of something else? How many times has something urgent taken the place of something important?
Are we ready to meet the Lord when He returns? If we want that to be a day of celebration and joy, instead of a gigantic "Tax Day" on steroids, it would be wise for us to make the preparations now, so that we can enjoy it then.
So enjoy tax day/Brooke's birthday today and if you didn't care for today's blog, remember...it's not my fault...it's tax day and you're just in a bad mood.
We celebrated yesterday by having some pictures taken at the Botanical Gardens and then having dinner at P.F. Chang's; and although Ava has had better days, Brooke and I really enjoyed it.
Brooke has the misfortune of having her birthday fall on April 15....tax day.
Tax day is not necessarily the best day to be born. It's different from being born on Christmas or New Year's, which are associated with pleasant things like peppermint and confetti. If your birthday is on/near a holiday (or even a regular day), most people are in the mood to celebrate with you.
Tax day is different.
For her entire life, I'm sure Brooke has had these conversations on her birthday:
"Hey, it's my birthday!"
"Congratulations. I owe the government $4000.00."
"I'm sorry. Would you like some cake?"
"Yes."
[not many people turn down a piece of cake, no matter what day it is.]
Before we were married, I have to confess that I would procrastinate getting my taxes done almost up until the very last moment. I had no reason to finish them early. So for me, April 15th loomed like a old, angry woman with a smoker's cough, breathing down my neck. I even had to file for an extension several times, making April 15th an old, angry woman with a smoker's cough, breathing down my neck...who could die any moment; which made her just plain surly.
After our marriage, however, I really wanted to be in the frame of mind to celebrate the birth of my wife without Aunt Marlboro (yes, we had pet names for each other), so I began taking care of my taxes early. This was difficult for me since I had never really done it, but it made Brooke's birthday more special and less tax-related.
I did our taxes this year in February. We had our refund in March. And even though we celebrated last night with the last few dollars of that refund, we celebrated without thinking about taxes a single time.
How many important things do we miss - if only in our hearts - because of something else? How many times has something urgent taken the place of something important?
Are we ready to meet the Lord when He returns? If we want that to be a day of celebration and joy, instead of a gigantic "Tax Day" on steroids, it would be wise for us to make the preparations now, so that we can enjoy it then.
So enjoy tax day/Brooke's birthday today and if you didn't care for today's blog, remember...it's not my fault...it's tax day and you're just in a bad mood.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Just Keepin' It Real...
As I was folding my 16-month-old daughter's clothes last night, I noticed how many of them have something written on them.
"I Love My Mommy"
"Daddy's Little Lamb"
"Big Sister"
"Hug Me"
Why do we do this? Why do we project things that we HOPE our kids are thinking onto their clothing? I can tell you from first-hand experience that my daughter doesn't always want a hug. She lets you know by saying "No!" and then pushing away from you with all of her baby strength (she has left bruises on my neck). How about a shirt that says, "Hug Me, If I'm In the Mood"; that would be better.
I saw a little boy the other day with a shirt on that said, "Daddy's Little Cowboy". What if that kid wants to be an accountant? Or a computer technician? When the kid grows up, will they have this conversation?
"Dad, I've decided I want to be an accountant."
"I'm so disappointed, son."
"Why, Dad?"
"I really thought you were going to be my little cowboy."
"Cowboy? I've never wanted to be a cowboy. What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb, son. You wore a shirt. You said you'd be my little cowboy. I bought you a horse today. He's in the garage. His name is Teddy."
"What? I don't want a horse, Dad. I don't want to be a cowboy."
[pause for effect as Dad gets red-faced, stands up and points]
"YOU WORE A SHIRT!!!"
What if we wrote more honest things on kids' clothing, just to keep it real. Things like...oh, I don't know...
"My Mommy Has Low Self Esteem"
"My Daddy is Trying to Re-live His Childhood Through Me"
"I Poop 3 Times a Day & Don't Have To Clean It Up"
"I Am the Reason My Parents Haven't Been Intimate in Several Months"
"I Drink My Own Bath Water"
"I Am the Most Powerful Person in This House"
Stuff like that.
I'm not saying that my daughter DOESN'T love her Mommy (who wouldn't?), but how about letting HER come up with that on her own?
Don't get me wrong, I will continue to dress my child in these tiny, mandatory billboards-for-babies, because all of our money is going to diapers and food and I can't afford to buy anything else.
I just thought I would mention it.
I have also noticed - related to this - that when we are raising our children, we are tempted to project things onto them that don't belong to them. Our guilt, our fears, our past experiences, our unfulfilled hopes and dreams, our hobbies, our interests, etc.
We need to be careful about this, especially when it comes to their faith. It is our job to train up our children, spiritually, but they can't have our faith. They must have their own.
If I were to buy my teenage daughter (12 years from now) a shirt that says, "My Parents Are Awesome!!", she probably wouldn't wear it.
But if we try our best to be the best parents we can be, she will probably at least THINK it...at some point.
If she doesn't, I'll buy her a shirt that says, "I'm an Ungrateful Teenager." By that time, gas will be so high that she'll either have to wear it or get a job. Either way, I win.
"I Love My Mommy"
"Daddy's Little Lamb"
"Big Sister"
"Hug Me"
Why do we do this? Why do we project things that we HOPE our kids are thinking onto their clothing? I can tell you from first-hand experience that my daughter doesn't always want a hug. She lets you know by saying "No!" and then pushing away from you with all of her baby strength (she has left bruises on my neck). How about a shirt that says, "Hug Me, If I'm In the Mood"; that would be better.
I saw a little boy the other day with a shirt on that said, "Daddy's Little Cowboy". What if that kid wants to be an accountant? Or a computer technician? When the kid grows up, will they have this conversation?
"Dad, I've decided I want to be an accountant."
"I'm so disappointed, son."
"Why, Dad?"
"I really thought you were going to be my little cowboy."
"Cowboy? I've never wanted to be a cowboy. What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb, son. You wore a shirt. You said you'd be my little cowboy. I bought you a horse today. He's in the garage. His name is Teddy."
"What? I don't want a horse, Dad. I don't want to be a cowboy."
[pause for effect as Dad gets red-faced, stands up and points]
"YOU WORE A SHIRT!!!"
What if we wrote more honest things on kids' clothing, just to keep it real. Things like...oh, I don't know...
"My Mommy Has Low Self Esteem"
"My Daddy is Trying to Re-live His Childhood Through Me"
"I Poop 3 Times a Day & Don't Have To Clean It Up"
"I Am the Reason My Parents Haven't Been Intimate in Several Months"
"I Drink My Own Bath Water"
"I Am the Most Powerful Person in This House"
Stuff like that.
I'm not saying that my daughter DOESN'T love her Mommy (who wouldn't?), but how about letting HER come up with that on her own?
Don't get me wrong, I will continue to dress my child in these tiny, mandatory billboards-for-babies, because all of our money is going to diapers and food and I can't afford to buy anything else.
I just thought I would mention it.
I have also noticed - related to this - that when we are raising our children, we are tempted to project things onto them that don't belong to them. Our guilt, our fears, our past experiences, our unfulfilled hopes and dreams, our hobbies, our interests, etc.
We need to be careful about this, especially when it comes to their faith. It is our job to train up our children, spiritually, but they can't have our faith. They must have their own.
If I were to buy my teenage daughter (12 years from now) a shirt that says, "My Parents Are Awesome!!", she probably wouldn't wear it.
But if we try our best to be the best parents we can be, she will probably at least THINK it...at some point.
If she doesn't, I'll buy her a shirt that says, "I'm an Ungrateful Teenager." By that time, gas will be so high that she'll either have to wear it or get a job. Either way, I win.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Yes, It Was THAT Bad...
As you may or may not know, I am a fan of comics & super-heroes. To give you some indication of my fanboy-ness, I was at the premier of the 1989 "Batman" movie, wearing:
1. A Batman hat
2. A Batman T-shirt
3. A hand-made, spray-painted, 8-inch wide wooden Bat Signal "necklace" (does it still qualify as a necklace if you use rope?)
4. A pair of acid-washed jeans that I had hand-drawn/colored all over (with Batman comics)
5. An acid-washed jean jacket that was also covered with hand-drawn/colored Batman drawings PLUS approximately 20 Batman buttons that I had been collecting from the local music store in the mall.
To top it all off, I was 15 at the time....not 7.
After that first Batman movie, they seemed to get progressively worse, in my opinion.
Batman Returns was still good, but getting cheesy (we're supposed to believe that a nerdy, awkward woman can fall out of a building onto the pavement, get licked by cats for a while, and suddenly knows gymnastics? It's insulting to the audience, to gymnasts, and quite frankly, to cats.)
Batman Forever began to be officially over-the-top, although I enjoyed it. Jim Carrey was good, but Tommy Lee Jones was a bad choice. He didn't even really need make-up to play Two-Face (I think the make-up was actually the GOOD side of his face...that guy's ugly).
And then there's Batman and Robin. I threw up in my popcorn bucket on that one. It was just bad. If Batman Forever was over-the-top, Batman and Robin pole-vaulted over the top, and cleared it by 97,043 miles. I bought the DVD, just to complete my collection, but I haven't watched it in years.
Until last night.
I decided to give it another try. Was it really as bad as I remembered? Has it gotten a bad reputation for no good reason? Had I been too tough on it after my first viewing? I tend to do that with movies. So I settled in with a bowl of generic-brand Cocoa Pebbles (which was packaged in a 15-pound sack, for some reason) and popped it in.
I was right the first time. Boy, was I right.
Within the first 15 minutes of the movie:
1. We see Batman and Robin's butts (not naked, but I can't imagine it being much worse).
2. The first line (if I'm not mistaken) is Robin saying, "I like the car...chicks dig the car." Not good.
3. Batman, Robin, and the generic thugs of Mr. Freeze play hockey with a diamond...and everyone had conveniently brought their hockey sticks for some reason...
4. Batman and Robin then activate the ice skates that they have cleverly installed in their boots, for such an occasion (although they didn't find out that the bad guy was named "Mr. Freeze" until they were in the car - which is another story - on the way to fight him). They anticipate having to ice-skate at some point in their crime-fighting duties??? I blame Tonya Harding.
5. After blowing up Mr. Freeze's skyrocket with a Bat-bomb, Batman and Robin SURF back down to the ground (from 30,000 feet or so), using the doors from the skyrocket. Wow. Honestly, this little gem of a scene made Catwoman's transformation look like a documentary.
6. Mr. Freeze makes approximately 82 puns, threats, comments, etc. and they ALL reference something to do with the cold: "I'm afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy"..."Ice to see you"..."Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well, for it's the chilling sound of your doom"...I'm not making these up.
I finished watching the movie, but - for the life of me - I can't tell you why. It was like watching a reality show, just to see the mess.
Some things in life actually ARE as bad as we remember them. So why do we continue to go back to some of those things, over and over? Why do we revisit them, thinking/hoping that we were wrong? When a dish of food in my refrigerator goes bad, I throw it away (if I notice it); I don't leave it in there, thinking, "That'll be DELICIOUS next month!"
When it comes to bad habits, bad relationships, and - in general - sin, we should probably just trust our first experiences, leave those things behind, and move on. As God's Word says, we need to put those things to death, not preserve them for future enjoyment.
To wrap this up, the Batman movies DID get better, but only when they went in a COMPLETELY different direction (starting with Batman Begins).
If our lives are headed towards the spiritual equivalent of "Batman and Robin", we might want to rethink our direction.
Nobody wants to see that.
Well, almost nobody.
1. A Batman hat
2. A Batman T-shirt
3. A hand-made, spray-painted, 8-inch wide wooden Bat Signal "necklace" (does it still qualify as a necklace if you use rope?)
4. A pair of acid-washed jeans that I had hand-drawn/colored all over (with Batman comics)
5. An acid-washed jean jacket that was also covered with hand-drawn/colored Batman drawings PLUS approximately 20 Batman buttons that I had been collecting from the local music store in the mall.
To top it all off, I was 15 at the time....not 7.
After that first Batman movie, they seemed to get progressively worse, in my opinion.
Batman Returns was still good, but getting cheesy (we're supposed to believe that a nerdy, awkward woman can fall out of a building onto the pavement, get licked by cats for a while, and suddenly knows gymnastics? It's insulting to the audience, to gymnasts, and quite frankly, to cats.)
Batman Forever began to be officially over-the-top, although I enjoyed it. Jim Carrey was good, but Tommy Lee Jones was a bad choice. He didn't even really need make-up to play Two-Face (I think the make-up was actually the GOOD side of his face...that guy's ugly).
And then there's Batman and Robin. I threw up in my popcorn bucket on that one. It was just bad. If Batman Forever was over-the-top, Batman and Robin pole-vaulted over the top, and cleared it by 97,043 miles. I bought the DVD, just to complete my collection, but I haven't watched it in years.
Until last night.
I decided to give it another try. Was it really as bad as I remembered? Has it gotten a bad reputation for no good reason? Had I been too tough on it after my first viewing? I tend to do that with movies. So I settled in with a bowl of generic-brand Cocoa Pebbles (which was packaged in a 15-pound sack, for some reason) and popped it in.
I was right the first time. Boy, was I right.
Within the first 15 minutes of the movie:
1. We see Batman and Robin's butts (not naked, but I can't imagine it being much worse).
2. The first line (if I'm not mistaken) is Robin saying, "I like the car...chicks dig the car." Not good.
3. Batman, Robin, and the generic thugs of Mr. Freeze play hockey with a diamond...and everyone had conveniently brought their hockey sticks for some reason...
4. Batman and Robin then activate the ice skates that they have cleverly installed in their boots, for such an occasion (although they didn't find out that the bad guy was named "Mr. Freeze" until they were in the car - which is another story - on the way to fight him). They anticipate having to ice-skate at some point in their crime-fighting duties??? I blame Tonya Harding.
5. After blowing up Mr. Freeze's skyrocket with a Bat-bomb, Batman and Robin SURF back down to the ground (from 30,000 feet or so), using the doors from the skyrocket. Wow. Honestly, this little gem of a scene made Catwoman's transformation look like a documentary.
6. Mr. Freeze makes approximately 82 puns, threats, comments, etc. and they ALL reference something to do with the cold: "I'm afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy"..."Ice to see you"..."Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well, for it's the chilling sound of your doom"...I'm not making these up.
I finished watching the movie, but - for the life of me - I can't tell you why. It was like watching a reality show, just to see the mess.
Some things in life actually ARE as bad as we remember them. So why do we continue to go back to some of those things, over and over? Why do we revisit them, thinking/hoping that we were wrong? When a dish of food in my refrigerator goes bad, I throw it away (if I notice it); I don't leave it in there, thinking, "That'll be DELICIOUS next month!"
When it comes to bad habits, bad relationships, and - in general - sin, we should probably just trust our first experiences, leave those things behind, and move on. As God's Word says, we need to put those things to death, not preserve them for future enjoyment.
To wrap this up, the Batman movies DID get better, but only when they went in a COMPLETELY different direction (starting with Batman Begins).
If our lives are headed towards the spiritual equivalent of "Batman and Robin", we might want to rethink our direction.
Nobody wants to see that.
Well, almost nobody.
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